Hello my name is Gawain Im really desperate for some advice. I Broke up with my girlfriend of six months one month ago, we had some great times and I really liked her. Then it became apparent we were not that well suited she was aggressive, drunk too much, did drugs, and went clubbing on her own when I was working.. even wanting to meet up with her ex for a drink when we were together.. This caused problems, she adventually turned very cold towards me and smashed my car up over a moderate argument... she said I tried to hard and although she said I was the kindest most gentelest caring sensitive boyfriend she's ever had, she is not used to that. Adventually she went cold towards me and we finished . Although we were not suited I still have strong feelings for her, I feel lonely, and deppressed, and alone, I keep waiting by my phone hoping she will reply to my texts... She does text me then stops and will not get back to me, it feels like she's playing a game. So I deleted her number off my phone so I'm not tempted to text her.. I have a feeling she is involved with someone else now, but the problem is we both go to the same pub where all my friends go as well, so if I go in there and she is with someone else I am going to be devastated so what do I do? I can't stay in my flat all lonely I don't have many friends never been on my own for long before, should I just go in the pub there and face my fear head on, will this make it easier in the long run rather than hiding, I'm scared , feel hurt as it is, what should I do... please help

I'm kind of in the same situation except my ex boyfriend dumped me 2 weeks ago saying that he duznt want a girlfriend! I was gutted, still am and I'm still trying 2 get ova it. I went 2 town on sat night wher I saw 1 of his mates who told me he was out wiv his ex :(
I'm sooo worried now that I'm going 2 c them out 2 getha! If I eva do I'll prob giv a sad sarcastic smile and act like it doesn't bother me but as soon as he cnt c ill prob run in2 toilets and cry! I've also deleted his nnumber because when I've text him he makes me out to be obsesed or desperate when really I miss him like mad!! Don't no if this helps you, hope you do get ova her!! U will in time, so will I hopefully but its fukin hard isn't it!!
Xx

Hi Gawain

You may not feel this way now, but not having this girl in your life is a very good thing for you. The difficulties would have only escalated and the pain she would have caused you would have been even deeper.

It sounds as though, she is a bit wreckless and is unsure of what she wants. You can't fix her. The sadness that you feel is probably missing the girl without all of her problems, and right now, that girl doesn't exsist.

For your own good, and this is not hiding, stay away. Stay away from the pub, from her calls and from her emails. Remove yourself entirely from this situation.

You truly sound like a great guy and I am so sorry for your pain. But I wish you could see it from where I am sitting. Not having this girl in your life, is truly sparing you from future deeper heartache and additional difficulties.

Just think about the things you do know, she does drugs, drinks too much and she smashed your car. She really needs to get healthy, but that is something you can not do for her and she needs to do it on her own.

You are hurting and missing the girl that you think she could be, but, she, right now is not that girl and will keep you in an unhealthy place if you let her.

I do wish you all the best. Just try, as hard as it may be, to take several steps back at all of this and view this with your mind and not your heart.

Hmm you might want to steer clear of this one for awhile. You were probably thinking pretty clearly when you broke up with her and now not so clearly. Don't stress it so much. Just think, whatever guy she is with is going to be dealing with the same crap you dealt with. She's obviously still out clubbing so I doubt she has changed any. If you broke up with her she is going to try to rub it in your face judging by her character and the best way to confront that is to not let it phase you no matter what the consequences. She definitely isn't worth it. Lay off the drinking for awhile or at least find a different pub. Oh and by the way, when you are using the term adventually, it is actually spelled eventually, unless you have discovered some new word that I am unfamiliar with.

You don't want this girl. Trust me. Do anything you can to just forget about her. Stop trying to get in touch with her... that's just fueling her. Don't feel bad about her being with somebody else, unless it's just pity for the next poor guy who's going to get his car trashed.

Try to talk your friends into switching pubs. I know, a place like that starts to feel like a home, but if your house has rats, you get out for a little while. That's what this girl is: A big fat stinking rat. You don't want anything to do with rats.

Brother, the best way is not always the easiest way.
Find a new pub and thank God you were man enough to walk away.

She's now someone else's problem and while it may take time to believe it, that poor guy (if there is one) is doing you a hard-earned favor!

"Time heals all wounds" - Anon

"Women that smash my car, get drunk, do drugs and hang with Ex's while dating
me are not exactly prime dating material" - (Hopefully) Gawain

Be glad that your not with her and sorry for the new guy! What a psycho!

Even if there is no one else that you can get with and you want a girlfriend, this isn't the girl for you. She seems to be way out of your league! You said that you are a sweet gentlemen and she does drugs and drinks too much. And on top of that, she is seeing her ex while dating you is real bad!! You are better off forgetting about her. Try your best and just look for another girl. Good luck.
k.i.t.

I believe boycrazy means you are way out of her leauge, which I agree!