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farhanm111
Mar 22, 2012, 11:41 PM
Salam I'm Farhan >surname removed for privacy< and I married a women who converted to Islam without telling my parents.I tried to convinced them before I marry but unfortunately I couldn't and she didn't let me go before marry.she is British and I'm a Sri Lankan.I know her before she converted she learned Islam from schooling and because of me she got a chance to revert so she did it. She cried to me and told me "you should encourage me not laughing ". So I didn't have any option and I wanted her to teach Islam in a appropriate way to make my wife a good Islamic women.masha Allah she is learning now.
The problem is my parents know that I have a girl friend and they don't even know that I married and they ask to forget her and staying in Sri Lanka.but I always thinking about my wife and my family. I can't tell them that I married at the same time I won't leave her. So my question is can I go back to her and live the life?
I kindly requesting I need some advice please. But any way I will have to go there and help her to learn Islam and live a life with my wife and make her happy in her life.
Jazakkalah.

Stellaw
Mar 23, 2012, 06:25 PM
Do you really love your wife? And you're too old to decide on your own. It's your life were talking about here. Not your parents nor your wife's. Then if you love her truly, you should go back and fulfill your responsibility as a good and honest husband to your wife. Include your wife in your decision making, I guess. Talk to her, she might of great help. I don't know anything about Islam but I think it's still a sin running away from something you promised in the eyes of your God. Both you and your wife complete each other as if you were one being or person. Remember that. And she made herself your wife and you accepted the marriage, and vice versa. Tell your parents about it. At first, they might not understand but soon they will. Good luck.

JudyKayTee
Mar 24, 2012, 12:11 PM
Do you really love your wife? and you're too old to decide on your own. It's your life were talking about here. Not your parents nor your wife's. Then if you love her truly, you should go back and fulfill your responsibility as a good and honest husband to your wife. Include your wife in your decision making, i guess. Talk to her, she might of great help. I don't know anything about Islam but i think it's still a sin running away from something you promised in the eyes of your God. Both you and your wife complete each other as if you were one being or person. Remember that. And she made herself your wife and you accepted the marriage, and vice versa. Tell your parents about it. at first, they might not understand but soon they will. Good luck.


I'm a little concerned here - you admit that you know nothing about Islam but you keep answering posts about Islam. I also don't see any research, just opinions.

I would like to see these questions answered by someone who KNOWS the faith (and there are several people who do, such as Jennie).

jenniepepsi
Mar 24, 2012, 07:47 PM
Assalamu Alaikum Farhan!

I want to ask you a simple question.
Is it right to live your life this way? Lying to your parents, subjecting your wife to this?
You are living a lie. A HUGE lie.

Speak to your parents. Come clean, ask them forgiveness for your lies, and ask Allah forgiveness. He is ever forgiving and is just waiting for you to come to him.

Your parents may not approve of your marriage. They may choose to ignore it. That is between them and the Almighty.
But YOU will have been honest. And your marriage must be honored in the name of Allah.

NO more secrets. NO more lies.

Insha Allah you find the way. And I will pray for you and your wife and parents.

jenniepepsi
Mar 24, 2012, 07:52 PM
Do you really love your wife? and you're too old to decide on your own. It's your life were talking about here. Not your parents nor your wife's. Then if you love her truly, you should go back and fulfill your responsibility as a good and honest husband to your wife. Include your wife in your decision making, i guess. Talk to her, she might of great help. I don't know anything about Islam but i think it's still a sin running away from something you promised in the eyes of your God. Both you and your wife complete each other as if you were one being or person. Remember that. And she made herself your wife and you accepted the marriage, and vice versa. Tell your parents about it. at first, they might not understand but soon they will. Good luck.

Stellaw, in Islam, parents are a huge part of life. In marriage, every day living, and in death. There is NO way around your parents.
You are correct, him running from his marriage and lying to his parents IS Haraam (sin, forbidden)

But there are a great deal of involvement in this, that makes it extremely difficult for the original poster to simply 'do it'

I DO appreciate that you want to help. And if you ever have any questions about Islam please, feel free to ask. But please do not give answers to questions that you do not fully understand.