Okay, so I am 16 years old and my boyfriend is 18. If it wasn't issue enough I am pregnant at such a young age, I have also been afraid of issues with his parents. He is afghan and his parents are extremely strict about their heritage and customs (much like many middle eastern people). They do know about me and the fact that I am mixed and for the most part they allow us to have a relationship. However they did not realize we were sexually active and refuse to accept that we are serious. They also do not see me as a suitable partner for their son which I came to expect.

Now I have run into an issue; I'm pregnant with his baby and I'm not sure what to do. It is considered a huge sin in muslim culture and goes against all afghan customs to have sex and children before marriage and I'm so afraid of how my bf's parents will react to my pregnancy.

Does anyone have any advice for me? It would be greatly appreciated... :$

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
-my boyfriend does know about my pregnancy but is to scared to tell his parents
-we were practicing safe sex, I was taking my BC correctly and we used a condom (this is a very rare case)
-I am not willing to give my baby up for adoption or have an abortion
-I am half Jamaican, Half Canadian

I think no matter what you should have your baby. Im 18 and I have a 2 year old daughter. If you want to keep your baby that's what they should do, it's going to be hard without the help of his parents. I think at first they are going to be mad and they're not going to approve of it but there is nothing they can do about it now. They will accept it eventually. But you can do it on your own (: it's hard but not impossible

If you want to keep your baby that's what you should do* sorry about that lol

Where did this happen? I assume Canada. In much of the USA, this is statutory rape at your ages.

Smoothy, I was told that all states have an age of consent law, set between 16-18.

Well, we don't know if she's in the USA yet... I'm guessing Canada however, I don't know the Canadian perspective on this.. Lot depends on her parents viewpoint, and what part of the country, (viewpoints can vary greatly by region)... they could push the issue since he is legally an adult. Particularly since they are still legally responsible for her.
Regardless she will need to establish him as the father and seek support payments at the very least as raising a child is both time consuming and very expensive.

As she learned... birth control isn't 100% effective even when used correctly. Her choice to keep it is her own to make.

There are 1000s of posts here that advise members that no form of contraception is 100%. Thanks for proving that.

You say you are 16, but when did you become sexually active? The age of consent in Canada is 16 so if you conceived before you turned 16 or started having sex before then, he could be in legal trouble.

But the bottom line here is whatever his parents feel is immaterial. He is an adult in the eyes of the law. He will be required to financially support the child if you go to court. If you apply for public assistance they will require that he provide support.

Whether he marries you and becomes a father to your child will depend on how willing he is to defy his parents if they take a hard line.

Do YOUR parents KNOW? That's who should be guiding, and supporting you, and his parents are his problem! Let them guide you through the legal system as well, if need be.

I became sexually active at 15 but I will be 17 in may so I don't believe legally this is an issue. My boyfriend was 17 at the time of conception, he turned 18 this month. He also wants to be a part of our child's life so I'm not worried about thing such as court and child support at this time. I just need some advice on how to tell or get through to his parents that this is something that cannot be reversed.
And no my parents do not know... I will tell them soon.

Oh and I am in Canada, I'm not certain of the laws here...

You better tell your parents ASAP!! And let them guide you through this, as you may never convince his parents of anything, and maybe he won't either. Thats the priority, YOUR parents, not his. First things first!!

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At least you will have wiser, more experienced heads on your side. After the emotional dust settles for them.

I'm not sure how to tell my mom... I'm getting blood work done on the 30th and I was thinking about just letting the doctor tell her..
Or maybe I should write her a letter ?
Any ideas?

Sit her down, privately, and tell her. Better from you than some one else. If you cannot face your own parents, especially your mom, how will you ever face his?

I can face my mom, I was just trying to avoid hurting her. I will tell her face to face then..
Also, I'm not allowed under my boyfriend's parent's roof... because I am not afghan.. is there any other way I could get them to talk to me? Do you think a phone call will work. I need to get through all of this I'm afraid I'm stressing out the baby with all the drama going on.. and I've already been picking up extra shifts for money and I'm on track to graduate a year early
It's a huge workload.. I'm scared for my child ):

Let YOUR parents talk to HIS parents, after HE has talked to them. That's the best way to go. RELAX!

OK...

If at all possible, have your boyfriend tell your parents with you. Discuss with your boyfriend first what your plans will be. What are the educational goals and how will you go about working towards them? How will the baby be supported financially? Is your boyfriend working? Could he pick up a second job for awhile to show he is willing to do what it takes to put money away for future expenses? Is he attending school? Are there long term goals for your relationship?

Your mom will be hurt and disappointed, so expect it, but she will also most likely come around when the initial surprise wears off. The two of you going to speak to her, with a plan already discussed, will show her that you are taking it seriously and are willing to do what you can to move forward in a responsible manner.

He can tell his parents in whatever way he feels would be best. It sounds as though it might end up being a very unfortunate situation, but best to get it sorted as soon as possible. It only causes more worry and anxiety the longer you put it off.

I know you mentioned that the financial support from him is not a real concern, but in this situation you sometimes have to think with your head and not your heart. He may have every intention of being there, and he very well may do so, but odds are good that you may not remain a couple raising this child together. Much may depend on how much he is willing to go against his parents' wishes if they make things difficult for him. Your child's welfare has to come first and it would be wise to be sure that you have things in order so that the financial support will be there.

Hopefully, his parents will come around in time as well. That is obviously what every young couple would hope for. Best to hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

Honey just be honest with your parents. If they love you they will help you through this. Get rid of your baby for no one. Bless your heart and good luck.

If I was u I would keep my baby away from those people. They are known to kidnap and take kids back to their country. U see stories on TV about that all the time. My daughter is pregnant by her ex whom is russian. Dated him for 2 yrs and never met any of his family. He made excuses all the time. Minute she got pregnant he left her. He didn't want to be shunned by his family for getting black girl pregnant. He was also mad that my daughter wouldn't get abortion. I will tell u this I couldn't imagine not loving my grandchildren. Even though your mom will be hurt she will stick by u to the end. She will love that sweet baby more than she loves you... so please tell her. Oh yea and hope that doesn't kick his parents azzes, lol.

If I was u I would keep my baby away from those people. They are known to kidnap and take kids back to their country.

The OP may have no choice in the matter. The law allows the father rights to the child. The law should also help prevent removing the child from the country.


My daughter is pregnant by her ex whom is russian. Dated him for 2 yrs and never met any of his family. ... Minute she got pregnant he left her.

Your daughter's experience may have no bearing on the OP's. Because she showed questionable judgment in relationships doesn't mean the OP has.


Even though your mom will be hurt she will stick by u to the end. She will love that sweet baby more than she loves you...so please tell her.

You can't guarantee that. While my experience is that most parents will continue to support their daughters in such a situation, not all will. There are too many that have been kicked out to fend for themselves in such a situation. I don't know how the OP's parents will react, hopefully it will be supportive.