I'm a 17 year old girl, and I have been struggling with emotions for quite a while now. It started when I was about 13, in autumn-winter, when I noticed myself getting extra irritated and nervous; my heart starts racing, I cannot stop tapping my fingers (or my feet on the floor), like I had some kind of energy in myself but useless.

This would happen when I am in an irritating situation (nothing serious, situations which normally anyone could handle without any need of help) for example there was a guy whom I had liked and when he asked me out (via chatting so he couldn't't see my reaction) I reacted like this.. eventually I said no, but looking at it afterward I realized how pathetic I was.

This kind of behavior sometimes even kept going like for several hours (example a day at school). I really saw myself as “not normal” but I was afraid to face the truth. Anyway, a few months passed and I was OK again just like before. In this case I blamed all this happening to a night where I saw (from the distance) a guy I liked, drunk and it impressed me (being a girl who had never faced or been near people who drink etc) but I didn't't know him really, just I really liked him. So I saw this really funny.

The following year at about the same time of the year I only felt mildly depressed – but could not compare anything to the previous or following year to come.

The following year (now I was 15), at about the same time of the year i.e. autumn-winter (November and January mainly) I felt really depressed, like nothing could ever change my mood. I cry for nothing, get angry at silly arguments, etc. then at the end of February, beginning of march everything came back to normal again. This time I blamed the fact that I got dumped by a guy (and in reality it is true that the first signs of the depressed days started from that day).

The following year (16years of age) I had just been dumped by a guy whom I really loved, at September. And from there till January I just was completely depressed. Obviously I blamed all this on that. But the thing is that I haven't spent all this time thinking about him - from December on I found some friends and things got a bit better – but I still was the same. On march eventually I got the same I was before. And a bit later I met the man of my dreams – who became my boyfriend and still is.

The following summer (i.e. last summer) I had situations where I got really shy, like I was afraid of what people would think of me, I wouldn't't dance in a pub or if it was, only because it was nearly empty or I had drank a bit more than usual. I was finding this really frustrating, it would be like there is someone inside of me screaming to get out and dance all night, and something holding me stuck and not letting me move. I was never this way (ok I always was a bit shy but not this much) and my boyfriend is really fun to be with, he encourages me in the best way a man could to get me enjoying the night and dance, but it is of no use.

Now the following autumn was that of 2011, and at the beginning of October I began to feel really depressed – the same kind of sadness that I had the last time I got dumped.. only this time I was in a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend, I had what I have always wanted, but still that did not stop me from getting bad feelings. I started to feel sorry for my boyfriend for having such a loser who is always sad (I did my best not to show him and tried to lighten up whenever I see him but sometimes I could not help it and he would notice and think that he did something wrong but then he would give up asking obviously). In December I got OK again, and on January I started being depressed again.

Now it was not continuously, it was like a week on and week off. This continued in February and till about a week ago. Currently I feel OK.

I have made a conclusion that these negative feelings are linked with the time of year not with the circumstance I am in (ok, obviously when something bad happens my mood worsens). Because in spring/summer I get by easily.
I am confused about what to do, I mean, I cannot keep on living this way, and another thing I am confused about, should I tell my boyfriend? He is that type of guy who tried to understand and really is caring and supportive, but I have never told him anything about this because I was afraid of his reaction.

My parents: sometimes I mention something but not much. I really see myself as there is something wrong, but sometimes I say that this is stupid and maybe all I need is to get disciplined and get control of my OWN feelings. What should I do?

You should see a Physician to rule out physical problems and recommend someone you can talk to.

It could be anything from a "sunshine deficit" disorder to depression.

I am not certain that your drinking pattern isn't involved in this. Alcohol is a depressant.

Aren't you underage?

In my country it's legal to drink over 17 years, but I rarely drink alcohol anyway (in what I have mentioned: it was only 2 times where I drank a bit more than "usual" - but did not get drunk)

Please stop drinking as alcohol is a depressant combined with other stresses in life can throw your emotions off, and make feelings hard to deal with sometimes. But LOL, you are not the only one who feels better in nice whether with more sunshine. That helps, but you are a normal 17 year old, maybe a bit insecure and subject to new emerging feelings, wants and needs and a bio cycle, (menstrual), that gets you moody a bit.

No worries though, as an older woman, or regular doctor visits will help you grow more confident, and familiar with yourself, and you will know how to deal with things much better.

In my country it's legal to drink over 17 years, but i rarely drink alcohol anyway (in what i have mentioned: it was only 2 times where i drank a bit more than "usual" - but did not get drunk)


It's not about drinking more than usual - it's about drinking, period.

Alcohol is a depressant.

No actually I do not drink often, about once or twice a month from 1 to 2 half filled glasses - in my opinion that should not be the cause of this

Anyway, I appreciate that you took your time to try to help :)
Thank you :)

You appear to be answering your own question - the expert opinion is that alcohol is a depressant and you refer to your drinking (and over-drinking). You don't believe that's the problem.

What do you think the problem is?

no actually i do not drink often, about once or twice a month from 1 to 2 half filled glasses - in my opinion that should not be the cause of this

anyways, i appreciate that you took your time to try to help :)
thank you :)

Your opinion is not based on facts because alcohol has many levels of affects, and people have many levels of resistance, and many levels of reactions. Your glass of wine may trigger adverse effects in another human, and vice versa.

Never minimize, or dismiss facts when searching for solutions. Explore the possibilities.

The following summer (i.e. last summer) I had situations where I got really shy, like I was afraid of what people would think of me, I wouldn't’t dance in a pub or if it was, only because it was nearly empty or I had drank a bit more than usual. I was finding this really frustrating, it would be like there is someone inside of me screaming to get out and dance all night, and something holding me stuck and not letting me move.


I'll be very frank here - if you behavior when drinking is different from your behavior when you are NOT drinking, particularly to this extent (you won't dance in a pub unless/until you've been drinking "more than usual") alcohol IS a problem for you.

I'm not saying you're an alcoholic. I'm not saying anything like that but I AM saying that if your behavior changes when you drink you are drinking for courage (or something else) and I believe that's always a mistake.

I am not saying you are an alcoholic either, but I do know that you have much to learn about yourself, so you can make the adjustment necessary to grow in a healthy way.

We all do, and it's a lifelong journey. That makes you normal like the rest of us(?)!! Well some are NOT as normal as others (hehehehe!)

I think it may be your felt lonely. Like when you're boyfriend broke up with you. You felt depressed right? Just you weren't thinking about him. That's because you weren't upset over the break up. You were upset over feeling lonely. People can even feel lonely around loved ones. That's why you could still feel lonely around your new boyfriend. I suggest talking to someone who doesn't make you feel lonely when Your around them. Get your feelings out. And as for the extra energy. Excersice. Volunteer. Meet new people. YOu won't feel as lonely as you did before. I promise.

Editors Note. Argumentative personal attack on the advice of others was deleted this time. This is against the site rules, as is soliciting off board contact.

Damn guys, you aren't listening! .... and if you need someone to talk to you can always message me..

I'm sorry, but we ARE listening. You will realize than when you've posted more than five times.

In her case alcohol is a problem. Maybe I's not her only problem, but her behavior changes when she drinks. That's an alcohol-related problem.

Contact off the board is not encouraged and, in fact, is discouraged.