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View Full Version : Girlfriend loves me, but wants to take time off for school.


willdabeastx812
Feb 29, 2012, 02:35 PM
So recently my girlfriend (17) and I (18) decided to mutually break up, but she brought up the idea. She felt she was too stressed with the fact of having a relationship where she had to hide it from her parents and sneaking out to see me and she wanted to do better in school so she could boost her GPA. We've been together for 14 months and love each other like crazy, having rarely any fights at all. She told me she needed time and space for herself to think and to improve her grades. We still love each other, but she won't take me back any time soon because she said she wanted to see how things go and if she's ready, then there's a chance.

However, we promised that we'd get back with each other and have a future/get married etc eventually but that could be anytime from now till 6 years later (I know we're young and sound naive). She told me that I was too perfect for her because I treated her so well and still got good grades even though I'm in college 300 miles away from her staying strong for the relationship till she got freedom (distance didn't matter for us because we were able to get through it without stressing). She felt like I deserved better, but I told her that she was perfect to me because she was everything I ever wanted and even more.

So she decided to bring up the idea of seeing other people to see what we really like and want in relationships, but plans to get back together because she said she knows she'd never have as perfect of a relationship as we had since no one has ever treated her like I have and she believes no one ever will. Anyway, we have so many gifts and memories, so I don't know what I should do with them, perhaps store them away and try to do as she says, to just give her time and space so maybe she'd get back with me even before dating others (as her primary focus of breaking up was focusing in school, but she'd get back if she got too depressed).

I understand that that's not very likely because I want her to do well in school, just in the back of my mind, I want to know we'd be back together because what we had had no flaws to it except for the freedom and grades and we still love each other very much, but remaining as best friends for now. What should I do with the memories, and how should I handle the situation with her? By the way, I'm going back home next week for spring break, should I see her? Keep my distance? Do what she wants when I'm with her? Be as I normally am, sweet, caring, funny etc?

Please help, I'm so confused because I want the highest chance possible of being on her good side even though I'd move on and just be best friends so she could have what she wants, and so we could eventually continue what we had. Help, and thanks in advance! (I've already tried getting her back, most I've got out of her is that we settled it happily and are trying it out so far, but promised we'd eventually (now till 6 years later) get back together even though it may sound ridiculous. I've always just believed in the quote about letting things go, and having them come back to you then they're yours, but if not then they never were.

Please help, I'll add any additional detail, if anything updates or comes to mind!

Wondergirl
Mar 4, 2012, 01:10 PM
First, she wants to take a break because she is stressed from having to sneak around with you behind her parents' back, and oh, she also wants less stress so she can do better in school. Then, you're too perfect for her, so she wants a break, but don't worry because it'll only be for a little while and it's six years anyway before the two of you can get married. But wait! She wants to date around and have fun (even though her studies are more important?), so taking a break from you is really a good idea. Oh, and you can date around too.

Why on earth would you want to see her on Saturday? It sounds like you're toast.

indya
Mar 12, 2012, 11:33 PM
Do you mean you are breaking up to get back together after 6 years? Is that even possible?

Anyway, if she wants to get good grades, yes it's good if you keep a bit of distance and let her concentrate on her studies. But keeping doesn't mean you be bad to her. Whenever you guys meet be as you always are.

I notice that she is still a minor, why does she have to sneak off to meet you? Do her parents know about your relationship? You can be in trouble over this point.

And what's the talk about meeting other people? To me it sounds like she needs a break from you to try out other guys(sorry if it sounds harsh).

Take a cue from all this. Take a break, try out others too. And before getting back together, wait till she turns 18.

Fr_Chuck
Mar 13, 2012, 11:04 AM
Posts combined, and to the OP no we do not delete posts that do not violate our TOS.
For your friend to post this ( as you claim) you would have had to give them your pass code to log on.

willdabeastx812
Mar 13, 2012, 11:12 AM
Posts combined, and to the OP no we do not delete posts that do not violate our TOS.
For your friend to post this ( as you claim) you would have had to give them your pass code to log on.

I had left the site on my computer as I was away from my computer and as you may know, people are immature and 'hack' (post stuff) on other's accounts as jokes or at least among the youth population. I'm not comfortable with my friend posting this situation online. Please and thank you, if not, I would like to at least change my account name if possible.

Wondergirl
Mar 13, 2012, 11:19 AM
Um, isn't it a good idea to log off if you have to leave a public computer, or one that is open to others, even for a short time? Isn't that Rule #1 among the "youth population"?

willdabeastx812
Mar 13, 2012, 11:40 AM
It was in my dorm, I don't know who was posted it since I was gone for class, but my roommate left it on after using it. Also, people do make mistakes, that's understandable is it not? I just don't feel comfortable with the post especially since it wasn't from me. I don't care what happens as long as its either deleted or isn't under my current username, that's all I ask for. Sorry for any troubles or understandings, I only mean well.

Wondergirl
Mar 13, 2012, 11:52 AM
Yes, people make mistakes. And people learn from their mistakes. Now, after this particular mistake, I'm betting you will always log off if you leave the computer you are on.

willdabeastx812
Mar 13, 2012, 12:00 PM
Honestly you're being totally pessimistic, have you never made a mistake that you regret? Especially a mistake so minuscule like this, could easily be fixed within a matter of seconds or even a push of a button. Thanks for the insight although I'm sure I understand that concept but I still believe this post is very offensive and an invasion of my personal life. THAT is why I want it deleted, not just because someone posted something on my account. I couldn't care less if it was just something random, but this is a serious issue as it reveals my life to just about everyone, which again I say I am not comfortable with. With all due respect, please be understanding and reasonable.

talaniman
Mar 13, 2012, 06:50 PM
You actually have two posts, 5 days apart, the best that can be done is this one closed.