Hi everyone.

Those of you who know me on this site know my kids. Well, my son, now 13, is in grade 7 and he's not doing so well. He has a hard time making friends, he's been bullied, and his grades are slipping because of it.

He's been down on himself because of it.

Well, we have an xbox and xbox live, which means that he can chat with people all over the world. A lot like AMHD only they actually talk, not type.

So he met this girl, who claims to be 13, on xbox live. Before you say this is not a good idea, I have to approve everyone he talks to. I'm always in the room when he's playing and chatting. So I know what's going on at all times, and any time I feel weird about someone he's chatting with, I put an end to it.

Anyway, this girl and my son have gotten to know each other very well. They've told each other where they live (not exact address, but town, country, etc). Well it turns out that she lives a 2 hour drive from us and she comes in to our town a few times a month.

So yesterday she told my son that she's coming into town this weekend and while she's here she'd like to go on a date with him.

I'm torn. I don't agree with 13 year olds dating. In fact, I don't think children should date until they're 16. I don't mind a group thing at 14, but 13 is too young.

The thing is, when he told me about this he looked so happy. I don't think that he's really excited about going on a date, I think he's just happy that someone likes him, that someone wants to meet him, that someone has an interest in him. He's had such a hard time this year making friends. How can I say no to this?

So I talked to my husband and we both agreed that we would be okay with this, on a few conditions. First, I want to chat with her on xbox live. Second, her parents have to drive her to wherever they're going on their date, and we have to meet not only her, but her parents. Third, my husband and I will be present during the date. We won't sit at the same table, but we will be only a few tables down the entire time.

Am I making the right choice? This goes against what I believe in on so many levels. Number one is that they're only 13, number two is that they met online, and number three is that she really seems to want to start dating, and I've seen too many posts by 13 year olds on this site to think that 13 year old girls are as innocent as my son is.

Any advice? Should I put the kabash on this completely?

I don't think it's such a bad idea as long as there are chaperones. Have you talked to her mother? That's where I would start.



BTW, what game is he playing? I bet Johnny would love to play with him live.

I don't think it's such a bad idea as long as there are chaperones. Have you talked to her mother? That's where I would start.

I haven't yet. Jared hasn't talked to her yet today. I told him that when he does I would like her phone number so that I can contact her parents and see how they feel about this.

I know it's not too big a deal. All of the kids in his school are "dating". The thing that bothers me most really isn't his age, even though that is a factor. It's that he met her online. For all we know she could be a 45 year old guy! :(

When I told him this he laughed, said "mom if you talked to her you'd know that she's a teen girl. She giggles too much to be a guy".

Another concern is that she'll meet him and reject him. He's at that awkward stage. A bit of skin issues, he's gotten a bit chubby, and when he's nervous he can be downright annoying. But he's such a great kid. Sadly at 13 girls don't usually go for the guy with a great personality. If he's rejected I'm afraid that he'll be even worse off than he is now.

What would they do on a date?

BTW, what game is he playing? I bet Johnny would love to play with him live.

His favorite is Halo Reach, Gears of war three, and border lands.

Yup, he loves to shoot. :(


What would they do on a date?

Jared wants to go to Swiss Chalet for dinner.

The kid is going to cost me a fortune! ;)

Hey, I was satisfied with McDonald's!! Is this a high-maintenance girl?

His favorite is Halo Reach, Gears of war three, and border lands.

Yup, he loves to shoot. :(

OMG, we have to get Jared and Johnny together! I think he has all of those games!


Jared wants to go to Swiss Chalet for dinner.

The kid is going to cost me a fortune! ;)

That's a little too much. Is there a game room near you? Indoor trampoline park? Something like that?

Hey, I was satisfied with McDonald's!!!! Is this a high-maintenance girl?

Swiss Chalet wasn't her idea, it was his. She told him she didn't care where they went, and she doesn't expect him to pay for her. They're going dutch.


OMG, we have to get Jared and Johnny together!! I think he has all of those games!

Definitely. PM me here or on fb and I'll tell you Jared's username on xbox. :)


That's a little too much. Is there a game room near you? Indoor trampoline park? Something like that?

There are game rooms, but they're geared more to the pre-teen crowd.

I'm looking into something they can do that's fun and not too expensive.

I suggested bowling to Jared. He liked that idea. :)

The think the criteria you have set for his going out with this girl is fine. Meet the parents first and be present while they are out.

Thanks Homegirl. I think it will be okay too. Jared is going to tell her tonight, I'll call the mother tomorrow, then we can plan this out.

This will be his first "date". I think I'm more nervous than he is. :(

Been there. That first date and the first time they take the car out is a nail biter.
It will be OK though.

Yeah, I'm not much for kids that age dating either but I think you're doing fine with the way you have it planned out. You're being responsible about it and that's what matters.

Yay! Jared and Johnny are playing together on XBox Live! If they talk anything like us they could be on all night. :p

Oops, sorry for hijacking!

Thanks everyone.

LOL J! Jared would stay up all night if I let him. He's his father's son, a regular night owl.

Same here with Johnny. Had to get him off the game and into the shower. He wants to know when Jared and Syd are going to come visit. He can't wrap his head around that you LIVE in Canada. He thinks you are visiting there.

LMAO! Sadly we're not visiting Canada. We actually live here, or are we stuck here? Sometimes I wonder. ;)

It took me 10 minutes to explain why Jared can't come over and spend the night this Saturday before he finally understood.