I don't have anyone to turn to anymore, I can't go to my family they've never been there for me and they would just turn me away or make me feel worse, I gave up on my church long ago, and my first group of friends don't care there not really my friends, and my second group I can't go to because the problems I have are with a few of them and If I confided in one of them the rest would know. Then my best friend has told me that he has strong feelings for me, so I'm afriad to go to him because I don't want him to get the idea that I share the feelings. The one who I've been confiding in for so long has turned away from me for someone else. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt like this, or is it just me.

Maybe journalling would help? I know it has me in the past when I was having times like you are having. I also learned how to diversify my friends a bit better too.

We all feel alone sometimes but this site is for people like us.

I tried to write everything down, but I'm really busy so I would never have time to fully finish a thought, thanks though. And as for my friends, all my real friends are apart of the same group then my other friends are very scattered.

Try to go out and do things that you can do by yourself. You will get used to being alone. Trust me. I know from great experience

Loneliness (or perceived loneliness) is sometimes an opportunity to explore who you are and explore life... Trust Me!

Learn to be comfortable with being alone.. You have a relationship with you too!!

Friends are important, it is good to have many friends or acquaintances but it is great to have 1 or 2 very special close friends. You think you are alone, you are not... You may or may not accept this but there is more support than you think. Some may disagree with me here but I believe that God can provide you with comfort if only you reach out and show those open arms... Open Mind...

Regardless of your beliefs, you are never alone unless you want to be, and even if you are truly alone, if you think about it on a very deep level, are you really alone??

Ask yourself what it is you know you want to confide and then decide who would be appropriate for you to confide to.. Talking about issues is Good and is a positive step forward. Never deal with anything alone, you will need help eventually if you deny problems. If you can turn to nobody or feel that you can't then counseling is always an option and a very wise one too...

I tried to write everything down, but im really busy so i would never have time to fully finish a thought, thanks though. And as for my friends, all my real friends are apart of the same group then my other friends are very scattered.

Try volunteer work at churches, hospitals, or community centers to meet new and exciting people and help others who really need a hand. Great for getting out of self and an eye opening experience.

Try volunteer work at churches, hospitals, or community centers to meet new and exciting people and help others who really need a hand. Great for getting out of self and an eye opening experience.

I agree, or train for a marathon for charity... Excellent achievement

I did it, bloomin hurt my ankles after a while though..

The point tal make is to get active in the community and this is an excellent way to build confidence and make sense of a lot of things even if you think it won't...

Sometimes the answers stare us in the face!!

Once you realize what being alone is really like, you'll be a much better person for it. It's hard to rationalize, but once you're accustomed to the idea that you're all on your own in the world, it makes meeting people surprisingly a lot easier. Those inhibitions that cause doubt before you ask that cute guy if you can buy him a drink will disappear so fast you'll be surprised. I became so much more outgoing when I discovered my autonomy, and it's a much more enjoyable lifestyle when you're not afraid of what other people think.

Someone told me one time..

'You are born on this earth alone and you die on this earth alone'

It really made me think.

Thanks guys, and you being alone could be a good thing for me, I've actually gone through this before, actually this is the first year that I haven't been. I guess I'm just afraid to go back to where I was, or mabye I've gotten so used to having someone there that I didn't remember what it feels like. As for charity work, I would love too, I just don't have time with all my classes and everything. A marathon, yes I've done it too, it was fun mabye I'll do it again.

thanks guys, and ya being alone could be a good thing for me, I've actually gone through this before, actually this is the first year that i haven't been. I guess I'm just afraid to go back to where i was, or maybe I've gotten so used to having someone there that i didn't remember what it feels like. As for charity work, i would love too, i just don't have time with all my classes and everything. A marathon, yes I've done it too, it was fun maybe I'll do it again.

You sound like you have the right attitude to become comfortable with your current situation. You say you have gone through this before and by that I presume you mean, feeling alone. Better!! You already know what it is and how to deal with it and hopefully how to turn it into something more positive. As I say, I agree with tal with his response about volunteer work/charity work. You will meet some fantastic people and I speak from experience here because in the past I have done it and I met some really deep, interesting people...

If anything, this kind of thing will give you vision and take your mind off whatever you feel is the problem...

In the meantime, you can always consider some counseling.

I hope I have helped..

Counseling... I don't think so. Why go to someone who you don't know and who only cares about you for your money. Why talk to someone who's paid to listen. Why let someone who you don't know, learn all there is to learn about you when you won't even let your friends that close.

Counseling... i dont think so. Why go to someone who you don't know and who only cares about you for your money. Why talk to someone who's payed to listen. Why let someone who you don't know, learn all there is to learn about you when you won't even let your friends that close.
That is a really sad view of a counselor... and worse its from someone who likely has never been to one. I mean sheesh, why not ask first from someone who has been to numerous ones and all kinds too?? (Oh! Oh! Me! Me! Waves my hand wildly in the air to be chosen since I knows the answer!! ) If you wonder why you have any problems, I suggest you look at how you practice wholesale condemnation prior to investigating anything -- that's a sure winner for making problems turn into big problems, sweetie.

I've been to a counselor, a few actually. So I also invite you to look how you pracitce your wholesale condemnation before investigation. I keep an open mind about everything, Im sure that there are some counselors out there who actually care, I have yet to find one and Im tired of wasting my money.

I've been to a counselor, a few actually. So I also invite you to look how you pracitce your wholesale condemnation before investigation. I keep an open mind about everything, Im sure that there are some counselors out there who actually care, I have yet to find one and Im tired of wasting my money.
I should probably say I stand corrected but that's why I said "likely" as a means of hedging my bet. Likely means maybe, maybe not-- spares me from eating major crow here. LOL

You clearly had some rough experiences with counselors and are, of course, entitled to your belief about them. I am only saying that while I have known literally hundreds of them professionally, and been to dozens myself over the years, I also noticed a few that weren't too hot like in any profession. But unlike you, I did something about it when I was the client so that my experience was different in the long run. I have largely found my experiences with counselors very profitable in terms of the time and money I invested in me with their help. If you ever want to know how to find a good one, I'll be glad to help.

Sorry for snapping, and thank you for the adive and offer, but I think Im going to have to pass, I can take care of myself, and If I really can't take care of myself I would rather have someone who I care about and who cares about me watch over me.

There is a huge difference in being "alone" and being "lonely." It sounds like you are really struggling with loneliness. I'm naturally introverted, so being alone does not lead to loneliness for me. If you can become a child of the mind, maybe you can find that place too. Engage your mind in Big Questions, and see if you can solve them for yourself. Live in your head a little. It can be interesting in there, if you let it!

As far as turning to people for support, the key here is to do things you are interested in with others. This naturally leads to friendships. Don't allow your circumstances to dictate who you fall in with. For instance, just because you go to school doesn't mean classmates are your friends or even should be. Don't rule them out, but don't allow the circumstance to rule them in.

I practice martial arts, and there are great people involved in martial arts. But they aren't great for me because of martial arts classes -- they are great because they are the type of people who love martial arts. That makes them great, because I can relate to them, not merely because they happen to be in a class with me. And that is the key. You have to look at a person's character as well. Don't be a jellyfish drifting with every current in the ocean. Decide.

I've been there. I also have a family that I can't really turn to and if I did I would be made to feel ignorant for trying. So I feel your pain. At some point though you have to say to yourself, I didn't choose my family, but I was lucky enough to get a life to live out of it and I can choose my future.

I might suggest working out at a gym. Working out makes you feel good, you see improvements in yourself so you gain confidence and you can meet new people. Another thing I might suggest is getting a part time job at bar because you'll meet a lot of different people. In fact just getting a job anywhere will introduce you to new people.

Sorry for snapping, and thank you for the adive and offer, but I think Im going to have to pass, I can take care of myself, and If I really can't take care of myself I would rather have someone who I care about and who cares about me watch over me.
Thank you -- apology accepted. And when it comes to having someone care for us, we would all like it to be someone who genuinely cares too, I think. Just be sure you aren't wearing some subtle but powerful chip on your shoulder about that from any past disappointments or it may drive off people who would ordinarily be inclined to really care, okay? I am not saying you have one, only that IF you do, it would be easy to think its everyone else not caring about you when its actually you making that too hard to do. That's all.

My friends are wonderful, its just that our friendship is just beginning and I don't want to toss my life onto them, and yes I do have classes with them and they are apart of my life, but I chose them as my friends because there truly good people and we all are very similer and have fun together. As for my job, I work as a secretary assistant, its nice because I get to make my own hours, but I really don't have time to take on another job with all the classes I'm taking, but thank you if I have some free time, mabye I'll look into a part time job like the one you sugjested. As for the gym, I also do that, though mabye I'll go more now.

Well I guess now this leads me into another question, about the guy I love, what should I do with him? He's such an amazing person, and he can be a great friend, and he wanted to still be my friend so should I contact him still? Or should I wait for him to call me, because that's what I've been doing and he called me when he went to Portland (a few days ago), but it was late and I was asleep so I didn't answer and he hasn't called me sense. Its hard, we've talked on the phone every night for so long that Its broken my sleeping habit not talking to him. Also we usually see each other once every weekend, should I stop that too? Or should I wait for him to try to make the plans? Just what should I do?

Just as you need time, he does to probably.

disagrees: that doesn't tell me anything, it sounds straight from a fortune cookie
Young lady I don't mind a disagreement, but spare me the insults and how about a little respect?

Hahaha sorry, I didn't mean to offend TOO much

If I could rate you tal I would.

That answer although sounding quite simple afisherofmen, is all you really need to hear. Think about it!

Perhaps such and attitude is why you find yourself feeling lonely!

Oh for goodness sake

Tal was being very straightforward with his advice. He said you two aren't good for one another, so not talking to him would be for the best right now.

I don't know if I agree with him or not, and I can certainly sympathize with wanting to voice my complaints, but it's not like he's being opaque.

We have no idea why your guy friend broke up with you or rather you with him, other than that he is currently with someone else. We have no idea why you're alone. No idea why family won't talk to you and no real notion why your afraid of your best friend getting the wrong idea. There's a good way to deal with that. Tell him flatly that you have no interest - assuming he really is your best friend, he'll be able to accept that.

So, from all that I'm NOT seeing, I can assume there are some issues at work here! What do you have in your life other than your job? What are these problems that you need to have someone to talk about?

It sounds like you have some things to deal with. You don't want to see a counselor, you don't want to talk to your group of friends, you don't want to talk to your parents, you don't want to talk to your best friend, and you turn away the advice that's been given you here. What are you looking for, exactly? You're not even going to call back this 'guy you love,' despite saying that you'd like to talk to him. That may or may not be a good idea, it's hard to say without the context of your parting.

So, what do I think, after looking at all you've shared? I think it sounds like you seem to avoid solutions for fear of complication. You say you want someone to talk to, but then you also say you're an independent person who can take care of herself.

I'd say, talk to your best friend. If he really is that, there shouldn't be a problem, especially if you can be honest with him. He's not a kid, is he? I'm sure he can deal with disapointment, assuming that you haven't done anything like sleep with him or otherwise lead him on in the recent past. THEN things may be complicated.

If that's the case, well... Sounds like you definitely need to look at yourself and ask how it got to be this way! You can't have gone all through life with absolutely no one to turn to... Have you really been that afraid of being hurt?

I think looking at oneself is really important inorder to find solutions. I find meditation really helps if you are looking for things to be different in your life. The fact that you are on this thread - you are not alone. I can see how many people are reaching out to help you.

Afish -

I hope today finds you in better spirits. I completely understand you are sad and in pain.
Being sad - Understandable... Feeling alone... Understandable.

Being disrespectfull is never understandable and is never acceptable nor attractive. Ever.
Especially, when very good people, who don't even know you, care enough to try and help.

You first may want to start with self-respect and self-love. Forget, for the moment trying to get it from other places, or other people, and start with yourself.

A helping hand and a listening ear will always be here. However, nothing saddens my heart more to see a young lady, who I supsect has great potential, demonstrate disrespect. There is not an excuse under the sun for it.

We all make mistakes and have bad days, it's how we decide and choose to correct the mistakes and learn from them that dictates how much personal growth and eventual happiness we achieve.

For your own sake, I honestly hope you choose a better way to deal with your pain and sadness and be the young lady you know you can be.

Don't let past pain become a part of you. Let it help you grow, and learn and help you to be compassionte to others who may also be in pain.

Being alone allows you to appreciate how special some people really are. Meaning, when you do find people you connect with, you will be more grateful.