My boyfriend and I want him to adopt my daughter and we plan on getting married but don't want to get married and have our familys be all angry at the reasons so is there a way to have my boyfriend adopt my daughter in CT? Because my ex is trying to keep me to himself because it makes him look like he's trying to be a good dad, but he's really not and hasn't been for her whole life

No, Connecticut allows three types of adoption. Statutory (when both parents are giving up the child), step parent or blood relative. For a step parent adoption you have to be a step parent, which means you need to be married.

http://www.jud.ct.gov/lawlib/Notebooks/Pathfinders/adoption/Adoption.pdf

In addition, the father will have to agree to the adoption. If he doesn't, its not likely to happen.