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View Full Version : My girlfriend's promiscuous past, with both randomers and a lot of her friends


anonymous_2012
Feb 21, 2012, 05:47 PM
I have been with my partner for around 6 months, I am 21 and she is 19, I recently found out she has slept with around 15 guys but have accepted this as I have slept around too and we have complete trust and are 100% honest with each other. The problem is a lot of the people she slept with are all in her friend groups, and with them it has happened more than a few times, I have to meet them and have already met 2 before and cannot stand the feelings I get attempting to talk and be friends with her friends she has slept with.

She is aware it would bother me as we have talked a little before about it however I think it is the feeling of her friends have slept with her and them knowing that while we all spend time together, I wasn't aware of this when we started dating as we met at uni, however we regularly meet up with her friends and I cannot seem able to deal with this, I haven't explained to her the full extent of my feelings, particularly what her friends think.

Jake2008
Feb 22, 2012, 06:13 AM
Six months is not long enough to say you have complete trust, and are 100% honest with each other. You have only scratched the surface of who this person is, and it is the same for her. Learning about a person takes much, much longer than this honeymoon phase you are in now.

That being said, you don't know her well enough to know if she would sleep around on you, as her friends include frequent contact with those she has slept with. I can understand why you would be uncomfortable around her, and in the company of multiple (past) bed partners. I too would question if I'm going to be another notch in the bedpost and heading to the friend category as well.

You shouldn't have to guess about anything about her, as far as trust and honesty goes, and if you did know her well enough to accept her past as truly being in her past, you wouldn't be feeling the way you do.

I would think that with her being only 19, and already having had a very active sex life with at least 15 partners, she is maybe a person you should hold back with a bit, and see if she is mature enough at her age to be faithful to only one man.

She could very well be just the kind of person who's meaningless sexual contacts were just that- meaningless- and she can go on to be friends with them.

In my humble opinion, it is her behaviour, more than anything else, that needs a much longer time to fully assess. If you are expecting 100% trust and honesty, her being truthful and honest about her sexual past is something you'll just have to accept.

indya
Mar 6, 2012, 01:58 AM
I know it must be a very uncomfortable feeling to be in company of someone who's your girlfriends ex-bedmate. 19 and already so active!

Just make sure you don't get into deeper emotional connection with this girl before you can shake off all those feelings. If you want you can limit the number of encounters with her 'friends'.

Its just been 6months so its too early to tell whether you can both trust each other completely. Her past is her past, you should concentrate on your present. Is she faithful to you and committed? If yes, then make sure it stays that way. You cannot change her past. But you can make sure that you don't turn into another bed-mate by focusing on present and near future.

talaniman
Mar 6, 2012, 05:52 PM
Why should what they think even affect YOUR feelings? How do you think they deal with their feelings when they have slept with this girl, and they seem to still be friends? Take a page from their book, have fun as long as it lasts.

Too much head tripping for just 6 months so what do you expect her to do about these feelings you get? I think you are in to deep, to fast, and over your head. Maybe stop hanging out with her group of past conquests. I am sure she doesn't hang out with yours. You trust her you said so what are you tagging along for?

mmresd
Mar 6, 2012, 06:00 PM
If you can't get over it, then break up. Those feelings will not go away until you learn how to control them. Next time, don't ask any questions about the past, try to enjoy what is happening now, don't look back.