I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 21. We've kissed and cuddled, also hugged and held hands. I love him more than anything. We will pretty much do anything but sex. Is this legal?

What does a 21 year old want or have in common with a 14 year old girl? He is a pedophile. Do your parents know about this or are you hiding it from them?

Depends on the state you live in. Some states restrict touching of private parts even through clothes and kissing for arousal (kiss on the cheek or peck on the lips, no problem; more in depth kissing, could be.)

How long have you known him? How did you meet this man and do your parents know about him? Does he know how old you are?

What do you really know about him? Does he have a history of dating girls who are underage and not legally able to do and go to the same places he can?

If you are going to act like a grown-up with an adult male, then it is time to show your maturity by not allowing emotions to make decisions for you.

Understand that if your parents don't know about him or give you permission to date, there are other laws he could be charged with.

Okay my parents know we like each other but they don't know we are together.My mom said she is okay with it when Im 18 but I find it impossible to be without him for 4 years. And he has known me since birth, he is a very close family friend. I live in NS Canada so I don't know if it is legal or not and we have pretty near everything in common. Hes dated one girl who was two year younger but he didn't know he age at the time because she was lying to him. He broke up with her instantly afterwards finding out but he said he could never dream of leaving me and I could never dream of leaving him.

It would be smart to wait 4 years for him. If he's arrested for being with a child, he'll be in prison/parole and banned from your presence for more than 4 years.

A man who is interested in a girl as young as you are is not mentally well. You might want to discuss this with your parents before they find out from somebody else. Especially if you really are "good family friends" as you say.

. and he has known me since birth, he is a very close family friend.

That right there is a red flag to me other than the obvious part about the ages. I don't like that one bit. Perfect person to set you up to take advantage of you.



Hes dated one girl who was two year younger but he didnt know he age at the time because she was lying to him.

Two years younger than what? Than him? Than you?

If your parents don't know, and you are keeping it a secret, then you already know it is wrong to be doing this.

A guy that age should be able to find someone closer to his age... if not, there's a real good reason why he's interested in dating and fondling a 14 year old.

A girl your age shouldn't be so concerned with who she can or can't live without until she becomes an adult. You may not realize this but you're still a kid. I know, you're mature for your age... I get it. You're still a kid and shouldn't be letting any adult kiss and cuddle with you.

My mom said she is okay with it when Im 18

Your mother has spoken. For me that ends the discussion about legalities. However you may want to read the following quoted material. I highlighted a couple of things you should pay close attention to:

Avalon Centre - Halifax, Nova Scotia (http://avaloncentre.ca/ageofconsent.htm)

Sexual Exploitation
Charges can be laid if someone who is in a position of trust or authority over a person under the age of 18, has or attempts to have sex with that person; touches that person in a sexual manner; invites that person to touch to them in a sexual manner.

Sexual Interference and Invitation to Sexual Touching
The same as sexual exploitation except the person committing the crime is not in a position of trust or authority.
A Person in a Position of Trust and Authority:
Has a responsibility to protect a child’s safety;
Is responsible for the child’s well being;
Helps the child develop spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc;
Includes a family member, neighbour, coach, teacher, religious leader, family friend, group leader.
The Children & Family Services Act
A child, under 16 years of age, is in need of protection if they have been or are at risk of being sexually abused by a parent or guardian, or if the parent or guardian knows or should know of the possibility of sexual abuse by another person, and fails to protect the child.
A person who suspects that someone under 16 years of age is or was being abused, whether proven or suspected, is legally obligated to report that information to a child welfare agency. Punishment for professionals or officials can be fines up to $5000 and/or imprisonment. Other people can face fines up to $2000 and/or imprisonment.
No action can be taken against a person for reporting abuse, unless the report is done falsely and maliciously.


Do not attempt to see him without your parent's knowledge or consent. If you sneak around you will be damaging and possibly destroying any trust and faith your parents have in you. Do you want them to think they can't trust you?

I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 21. We've kissed and cuddled, also hugged and held hands. I love him more than anything. We will pretty much do anything but sex. Is this legal?


You will pretty much do anything "but sex." Where do you draw the line between anything and sex?

President Clinton had an explanation that oral sex wasn't real sex.

Your thinking concerns me.

You will pretty much do anything "but sex." Where do you draw the line between anything and sex?

President Clinton had an explanation that oral sex wasn't real sex.

Your thinking concerns me.

Excellent point.

Even though you have to wait 4 years, there's nothing preventing you from getting to know each other better and just being friends.

It gets complicated if you want a romantic relationship together.