PDA

View Full Version : Does my mom verbally/emotionally abuse me?


Katjetaime
Feb 19, 2012, 02:25 PM
I'll try and keep this not too long -

My mom and I get into fights daily. I also have depression. I go see a therapist once a week. My mom will yell at me, threaten me, and sometimes hit/push me. She will tell me "Go run and cry to (my therapist's name)!" She calls me a *****, cusses at me, blames me for everything (including the fact that she's on antidepressants). She does not know how to drop a subject and will lecture me for hours if I let her. She drives me to the point of tears constantly. Is this counted as verbally/emotionally abuse?

If you have any more questions, just comment and I'll answer.
Thanks.

Cat1864
Feb 19, 2012, 02:54 PM
Where is your father in all this? Does she treat your sister the same way?

May I ask If you have told your therapist about your mother's behavior?

If so, what has your therapist said? If not, why not?

I know from other threads you are 14 going on 15. Is there more background you could add that might give a clearer picture of what is going on? Does your mother physically assault you? How do you respond to your mother? If you stay calm does she still become physically and verbally aggressive? Do you ever become aggressive with her first?

Katjetaime
Feb 19, 2012, 03:09 PM
My dad and mom are happily married - he works at nights so he sleeps during the day. My mom and I bicker in the mornings when he's up before we all go to work/school, and he tells her to stop and she does. Usually at night after he leaves is when she loses her temper. She treats my sister mostly the same, but doesn't attack her out of nowhere like she does to me. She usually yells at my sister when she sticks up for me.

I have told my therapist that I'm unhappy with my mom, but not specific details. I'm not sure whether I should or not. My mom doesn't physically assault me more than pushing/shoving/hitting. It doesn't hurt that much, it's just the fact that she does it is what hurts me. I am very calm and don't yell back to her, and that doesn't seem to calm her down at all. I never am aggressive towards her first. I hope this helped.

Alty
Feb 19, 2012, 03:14 PM
I have to ask, if you consider this emotional or verbal abuse, are you ready to report your mother to CPS and be removed from the abusive situation?

It's really hard to definitively say that this is abuse because we're only getting your side of the story. I'm not saying that you're lying, but we do tend to paint a prettier picture of ourselves in situations like these.

If this is something that's hurting you, if she's physical, if you fear being with her because of her outbursts, then you have to call CPS. They will investigate, determine what's going on, and if you are indeed being abused they will remove you from the home and place you in foster care.

Cat1864
Feb 19, 2012, 03:43 PM
Have you tried talking to your father?

Next appointment or the next time your mother goes off, talk to your therapist and be completely honest even about your fears over what might happen. Talk about all the options and work with your therapist instead of holding back some very crucial information. She (just picking a pronoun to use) can't help you if you aren't.

I will be honest that if the therapist thinks you are in danger, she may have to report your mother. However, she may want to talk with your family first. Don't be afraid. Silence only has you asking us about ways to get out of your house as soon as possible.

kjoy82
Feb 21, 2012, 07:52 AM
Ask your therapist if you can have sessions including your parents OR can you have them go in on their own. I had mine court ordered to go through my therapist.
When they found that I was pronounced healthy they wanted to see how my parents stacked up. My father went and was pronounced healthy. My mom refused to go period. I was 14 at the time...
My mother sounds a lot like your mom. And I did the same as you... I did not talk back or scream or yell. I would walk away whenever I could.

My parents finally divorced and I went to live with my dad at 16.

Read carefully all of the responses from others... you have to make a decision.
And that decision could change your life forever sweety...

I hope that everything eventually works out for you... it will take time, so be patient :).

greentomato
Aug 13, 2013, 08:14 AM
I have a extremely verbally aggressive /domineering mother. I am now 34 years old, had multiple eating disorders including anorexia, brittle bones and chronic depression for which I have been on anti- depressant for over 10 years. I have v low self esteem and flounder around career wise.

Growing up I was very quiet and shy. My brother and sister didn't stay home a lot in their teens and as a result were exposed to the environment less. They were also tougher, more rebelious so my mothers behaviour didn't have the saem impact on them.They are also more successful career wise and personal life wise.
Although we have such a bad relationship ,In my adulthood I seem to cling to my mother (and father) even though she can be so horrendously abusive.

All I have to say is continue seeing a theapist, before your mother becomes such an integral part of your life that it causes lasting pysocological life affects