I started seeing this girl around the middle of November. It started as a friendship but eventually we started getting physically close, she started kissing me but then pulling away. She told me back then that she wasn't looking for a boyfriend and I understood that, but then as time went on we continued to get closer and closer. We saw each other almost every day, she stayed the night 3 or 4 nights a week and things seemed like they were building into a relationship. She was always telling me how I'm her sweetheart and how much she enjoys being with me, so wouldn't you think that means we have something together? Fast forward until a week ago, and once again she asks me what I want from our relationship and I told her I wanted to be with her and that meant I didn't want her to see other guys if we were going to be this close. She once again said she couldn't commit to anyone and needed to be alone to keep growing (we're both 21).

I'm pretty confused, if she knew she needed to be alone why would she get so close to me? I understand that she feels like she needs to grow, but I feel like the kind of commitment I'm asking isn't a very big one, and shouldn't be very difficult to do. She's said if she commits to someone they are the center of her life, and she can't do that right now, but I feel like that isn't what I'm asking of her. I just needed to make sure if I was going to put all of this time and effort in she wasn't going to see other guys. Has anyone been in a similar situation? We are currently not seeing or talking to each other, but this feeling of being alone is killing me. This is the longest I've gone without talking to her or seeing her. I can't understand why she would want something that was going well to end like this.

Also, about a month or so ago when we started sleeping together I told her I couldn't have her going back and forth like she was before if we were going to do this, and she said she couldn't promise anything but to be honest. Then two days later she apologized for going back and forth and was looking forward to getting to know me more and seeing what happens, that discovering is a risk.

Now she's saying she doesn't want to hurt me anymore and she's doing what is fair to both of us. I should also say that I am very inexperienced when it comes to girls, I haven't had sex and I rarely get this close to girls. Even though we slept together most nights, we never went all the way, just fooling around.

When we got close to actually doing it she stopped me saying that sex changes people. I can't help but feel like this is a big part of it.

Give her what she asked for and find someone new.

If I were you, I wouldn't get so stuck on this female at this time. She is way to experienced for you, and I suspect she keeps her options open, and has many. She is clearly setting the pace and you are going to go along with it because you are very hopeful to be in an exclusive committed relationship, but after a few days of being without, you will go back to going along with her.

I just don't think she is as into you as you are her, so don't push it. Get yourself under complete control, and don't make having her in your life such a big thing, because then she runs the whole show and you are just along for the ride.