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View Full Version : A Moving In Together Headache


country_girl86
Feb 14, 2012, 01:15 PM
Maybe someone out there has experience with a similar issue and provide some sort of much needed guidance...

The short of it: Have boyfriend of 1 and a half years. Awesome relationship... Decent communication, common interests, similar values and beliefs. But every relationship goes through there issues, which we had a few months ago. After 10 months things changed. These became our issues, right out of the blue. His issues: I really piss him off sometimes, I like to know what's always going on which makes me controlling, he doesn't want to grow up to fast (neither do I). This made him pull away, which made me push. My issues: He acts like a single guy with a booty call on the side, he can be very disrespectful, he stopped making an effort to do things together. We worked through it, and things were better than ever! And I mean that. We became very close, closer then ever. He kept mentioning moving in together (on three occasions). So he just bought a house but the closing date will not be until July. I communicated my concern that if I move in with him we may have issues about it being his house and I want to be seen as an equal (he would not allow me to pay into it, as he has always pays for things himself his whole life which is how he takes pride). He said that would not happen, I can decorate and pick paint and help decided on the renovations (wonderful!) Now here's the kicker... He said a comment "When I move in..." I said "Hold on, you mean when we move in right?" His reply, "No, I want to live there 6 months by myself first." So I can be a part of things, without actually benefiting? Do I have doormat written on my head?

I am so lost and incredibly hurt. Is this a commitment issue? Am I dreaming about a future with this man and not living in reality? Or is this an issue people go through and work through it? I think I need a male perspective...

Thank you for reading my looonnng question. I appreciate any help on this issue. I generally like to keep to myself.