I have been divorced over twenty years. My ex-husband remarried and I didn't. He had very little to do with our two children after the divorce, he even moved out-of-state, and often ignored Christmas and birthdays.

Three years ago, my son got married and at that time my ex made a reappearance. Since a baby boy was born, it is hard to keep he and his wife away. My son seems to have forgotten that he was ignored during his adolescence and has apparently forgiven his father for cheating and then disappearing.

My daughter has not. She wants as little as possible to do with her father and his wife, and although she is polite when in their presence, does not go out of her way for them.

She is getting married at the end of May and wanted her brother to walk her down the aisle. He said no, it was his father's place to do that. My daughter and her father really don't even know each other (his choice during her childhood - her choice now). What are the alternatives?

First of all, I'm very sorry that her brother turned her down. That's quite selfish on his part since he must realize she doesn't want much to do with her birth father. He should respect her wishes, and not push "dad" on her but that's just my opinion.

The only alternative I can imagine is for your daughter to ask someone else to walk her down the aisle. In no way should she feel obligated to ask "dad". Its quite common now for mom's to walk their daughters. Perhaps you'd be the best person for the job. :)