View Full Version : Why am I so paranoid and jealous?
princessriri
Feb 6, 2012, 01:42 AM
So I've been dating this guy for about 2 months and were getting to know each other really well. We've met each other family and we both have intentions of a long term relationship. He is honestly the best boyfriend that I've ever had. He's so kind and makes me feel protected and special. Unlike my relationships in the past this one has all of my trust. But for some reason I get so jealous when he doesn't invite me to go out with him and his friends. I'm not much for going out so I seem to get left behind a lot. Most of his friends have girlfriends that go out with them but he never invited me. When I get left at home I get sad and feel so jealous that he's having so much fun. He'll call me drunkingly and say the nicest things. Then I get paranoid and upset, because I feel like he has to call me to make sure I'm OK and he could be with someone else. But I feel like he wouldn't do that... See my paranoia is still shining through. I mean he's a very attractive guy and he tells me about how he gets hit on all the time. It just makes my jealousy even worse. I don't want him to think I'm some crazy psycho girlfriend that jumps to conclusions about nothing. Which that is what I'm doing in my head is jumping to conclusions. I just need some advice. Is it my fault because I'm so paranoid or should I say something to him about his recent actions?
ilove_eminem
Feb 7, 2012, 02:08 AM
You need not be jealous,get friends!
Don't have second thoughts on why is he doing so? Best is do not think much!
If it is hurting you so much then you need not get so serious about him.
Please don't call yourself a psycho because anyone would feel that way. Its lack of respect, what he is showing.
Or if you look at it in a different way, he might have something very different in his mind.
Like he probably think you will not get along with his friends.
No one knows the truth so lets not judge!
Why don't u clarify?
If not directly , just try and cross question him!
Best of luck xoxo
geminichick
Feb 7, 2012, 05:52 PM
It sounds like your pretty attatched to this guy... maybe a little too much that it has come to the point of being skeptical of his loyalty towards you. Would it be fair to say that you have an obsession with him? Being obsessive and clingy can ruin a relationship. I think you need to find some things to do instead of worrying yourself sick over this guy your with. Spend some time with your girlfriends. Go to the mall... go for a coffee... do something you enjoy doing.
Also... other women who look at you boyfriend because his is attractive is not a mortal sin or crime. Women are allowed to look but don't touch. Have you had any issues in your past that have given you reasons for having trust issues with men. For example... did an ex cheat on you?
princessriri
Feb 7, 2012, 09:15 PM
@geminichick thanks for the advice that was easier to read than I thought. I've lost touch with my friends and my social life. My school work has taken over my time when I'm not with him. I'm going to make time my friends to keep my mind off things that mean nothing.
But yes I was cheated on in my previous relationship and it happened because I had to work late and (as a bartender) and he couldn't handle that and cheated on me numerous times. I thought that it would be last thing in the world he would ever do. He made it sooo clear to me that I was the only one for him but apparently I wasn't. But I ended it and it was a very rough breakup. I'm over the old boyfriend but the thought is still there I guess in the back of my mind, that it's possible for that kind of stuff to happen.
@ilove_eminem I think you're right it was the lack of respect that he sometimes has for me that bothered me the most. Because I was studying for an exam at the time and it was just very annoying. But thank you for the advice, it was very helpful!
ilove_eminem
Feb 7, 2012, 09:33 PM
I think you're right it was the lack of respect that he sometimes has for me that bothered me the most. Because I was studying for an exam at the time and it was just very annoying. But thank you for the advice, it was very helpful!
Hi just get over that bast**d man! Hahahah lol.
I know you can live a better life. I'm 16 as well so we sail in the same boat;)
As a teen to a teen 'THING' I can tell you to tell him to take his mid**le finger and shove it up his
a** hahhahah kidding;)
But be careful, and as Gemini chick said, get your mind occupied in other things
Like studies, make new friends and make worth wile time for some productive beneficial
Things, then to just waste your energy over such useless petty things:)
Best of luck, keep safe and take care
princessriri
Feb 7, 2012, 11:23 PM
Hahahahah you're funny! I only wish I was 16 again, things were easy then! I'm 22 and going through my last year of college. I'm getting together with my girls tmrw night! Thank you for the help!
ilove_eminem
Feb 8, 2012, 01:15 AM
Hahahahhaha that's great! Enjoy honey:) have a greatttttt time
geminichick
Feb 8, 2012, 08:10 AM
That would really make sense why your so skeptical and paranoid. Reminds me of the old saying... once bitten twice shy. It can take time to be able to get trust factors in men when you have been cheated on before in a previous or current relationship.
I'm very glad to hear that you are going to spend some time with your friends. That will certainly help to take your mind off your worries. Friends always have a knack for taking your mind off things. It's nice to hear that you will be enjoying life a little and doing something for you. Men are certainly nice to have in our lives but they are not the centre of our universe. One man may not always stick with us but our friends and families will always be there. Many women... for some reason or other... feel they are nothing without a man. Which is certainly not true.