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RNM
Feb 4, 2012, 08:30 PM
Hi,

I feel so guilty, ashamed and so upset that I have been dishonest to this really nice guy that I met 2 weeks ago. I have herpes, and I didn't tell him. I have already slept with him. I know I sound horrible, I feel so so so guilty, I had promised myself and to be honest and wait with the next guy I meet to tell him before I sleep with him, and this time I didn't do what I promised myelf. I feel so bad. Should I just tell him the next time I see him the truth?
I feel so embarrassed.

Cat1864
Feb 5, 2012, 07:33 AM
Did you at least use a condom? Are you currently experiencing an out-break? Though it can be transmitted at any time, there is a greater chance during an out-break.

Don't wait. Contact him and tell him you need to talk. Be honest with him. He needs to be aware of a need to talk to his doctor about when to get tested and to be careful especially if you aren't the only female he is having sex with.

Human nature is to put off doing something you don't want to do. I know you are concerned and scared of his reaction, but you need to be mature and tell him as soon as possible. It will also be better for you to get it out and not allow the embarrassment, dread and apprehension to build.

Good luck and be careful.

JudyKayTee
Feb 5, 2012, 02:04 PM
Agree with everything "Cat" said and will add the legal note - people who are not told that there partner has Herpes are getting sued in NY and the uniformed partner is willing for pain, suffering and so forth.

I had occasion to take statements from a number of women infected by the same man.

Not a pretty lawsuit.

Less than two months ago you were in the same position this new sexual partner is in - and you were worried "sick." https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental-emotional-health/am-embarrased-scared-because-he-says-he-has-been-so-many-women-622745.html

I don't understand how you could possibly pass Herpes on so casually.

Fr_Chuck
Feb 5, 2012, 02:10 PM
Not only should you tell him, but you also should do it now, not wait.