View Full Version : What do you do when you have a boyfriend but want your best friend?
ConfusedGirl9
Feb 2, 2012, 11:56 PM
I was going to date my best friend a month before I got with my current boyfriend, and I still have sexual feelings for him. What should I do?
Cat1864
Feb 3, 2012, 07:27 AM
Take a step back from your best friend. If need be, stay away from him until you have your feelings under control.
Being attracted to people other than your partner is fairly normal. It doesn't mean you have to act on those feelings. Set boundaries for yourself and stay within them. Don't put energy into those thoughts. Note they are there and move on to a different subject. Dwelling on them makes them more important than they are.
If you feel like you might cross a major boundary line, then you might want to think about your current relationship and be honest with yourself. Is it what you want? Are you happy? Is there something missing? Identify any possible issues. Communicate with your boyfriend. Fix the issues that can be. Compromise on those that need it. Be aware that loving someone one does not mean you have to stay in a relationship isn't working for you.
Good luck.
mmresd
Feb 3, 2012, 12:15 PM
You need to make a choice. Either you give up your best friend until your feelings die down and concentrate on your relationship. Or you take a risk, break up with your current boyfriend, and try to get with you best friend. However, your boyfriend is a committed relationship, it seems like you just have "sexual" feelings with the best friend, so is up to you. What do you want more?
Letsmakelove
Feb 3, 2012, 01:17 PM
Well ask your friend out first to see if they like you the if he says no forget him then if he says yes break up with your boyfriend sincerely so if you and your friends relationship didn't work out you can still get back with your old boyfriend
Cat1864
Feb 3, 2012, 01:46 PM
Well ask your friend out first to see if they like you the if he says no forget him then if he says yes break up with your boyfriend sincerely so if you and ur friends relationship didn't work out you can still get back with your old boyfriend
Never leave one person for another. It isn't dealing with your issues. It is just causing more issues. And if either male has self-respect he wouldn't wait around for you to play relationship games. They deserve to not be treated like clothes you can try out and see which one fits better. It isn't good for your self-respect either. I don't think you are the type who wants to use people.
Asking one person out while being in a committed relationship with another person is very close to cheating. Keeping an ex in reserve in case a relationship doesn't work out is using him. Those scenarios cross several boundaries of good behavior.
If you can't make up your mind then leave them both, heal and move forward. Find someone new with the best qualities of both males.
Why didn't you start dating your friend before you met your boyfriend?
talaniman
Feb 3, 2012, 02:56 PM
Just because you have sexual feelings for others doesn't mean you act on them does it? Of course not!
ConfusedGirl9
Feb 5, 2012, 08:02 PM
I was going to date my best friend but I let him be with my other friend who needed him to be there for her.
And thank you everyone.
I think it is just hormones, because my boyfriend lives with me and he works 10 hours a night and that whole time I'm talking to my friend. I think I'm just lonely. And I always see my friend at school and he is there for me when my boyfriend can't be.
CliffARobinson
Feb 7, 2012, 12:56 PM
ConfusedGirl9 - that is a very insightful realization, and it sounds right to me. You have a good head on your shoulders. Thank you for choosing our site as a sounding board.
I wish
Feb 7, 2012, 01:22 PM
Sounds to me that you need to focus on building a stronger relationship with your boyfriend.
playerminer76
Jun 28, 2012, 10:47 AM
My girlfriend just left me for her best friend so I know how that feels don't do anything you would regret in the end