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View Full Version : Is it right to do this?


prplefairy1992
Feb 1, 2012, 10:24 PM
I met a guy back in January of 2011. We hit it off really well for 6 months. Now he is Muslim so some of the stuff is odd. We got married at his church aka mosque after 6 months, but signed no papers. He started to ask me to stay at home while he was at school and let him know where I was at all times, he expected me to answer the phone when he called, and he hinted at me wearing the head wrap in public in the future after we really got married and had a better life started. I fell in love with him and was willing to do anything for him... Even become a Muslim wife.

But in September I found out I was pregnant, and since we were not married on paper proof, he was freaked out, and had told me it was a huge sin to have a baby before marriage, he could actually be disowned by his family, and he went on to ask me to get an abortion, I turned down the request, and he broke up with me. We got back together a month later and he tried to accept it as it was... He was going to have a baby no matter what he wanted. So he took me out shopping but was reluctant to talk of names or anything. Later on he told me since it was his kid too, he was to pick the name, as his family goes, men pick manes of children. I was a little reluctant to the naming thing considering he wanted me to abort it in the first place. I turned down his request, but decided I would do the middle name he wished for.

We had our ups and down for the next 2 months. In December we had a small argument, right before he was due to go back home to Saudi Arabia for a few months... I came to find out that if I have the child with his knowledge, he can just take it and leave, and our government would do nothing about it because of the country he is in or something. So I told him I lost the baby for its safety and planned to go on to give my mother guardianship of it. But here it is 2 months later and he has been talking to me and saying I love you. He is due to come back within the next week. I love this man with all my heart and I miss him severely, I just want him back in my life, but I don't want to bring my baby into it. Would it be so terrible if we continued our relationship and if I kept the baby from him for awhile and told him later on he had a child?

talaniman
Feb 2, 2012, 07:07 PM
You have already LIED to him, and if you are afraid of him, then you don't need to be with him, but he needs to know he has a child by you. You can still protect your child, while being honest. What a mess, by not knowing him enough, or his culture.

I really don't think he will love you after he knows you have been deceptive, and what kind of relationship is there that's built on lies, and fear?

kcthatsme
Feb 3, 2012, 01:37 PM
Muslim men are dominating, controlling and want a submissive wife. If you are willing to be that way (no way I would) then best of luck to you. As for the baby, I wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could throw him. He can take your baby out of the country, it happens all the time. Then... what would you do at that point? If you love your baby, the baby should come first... period. Trust your gut and your head, do not trust your heart.