View Full Version : My husband put off having kids with me until he had a better job.
cursed_angel
Feb 1, 2012, 01:47 AM
That was 8 years ago and now he says we can 'make it' with the job he has now. I'm very hurt, confused, angry and now I'm wondering what next ? If I have the child will he just up and leave me when it all gets to hard? He reassures me he won't. But I don't trust him to not lie to me again. I wanted kids when I was younger, I'm now 29 and feel like my body is ticking time bomb, the desperation I feel when I see a baby is overwhelming.
joypulv
Feb 1, 2012, 05:29 AM
I think you left out some key information.
Nothing you wrote suggests that he's a liar and unreliable and untrustworthy.
So just why are you so hurt and confused and angry?
Are you saying that the job he has now is the same one he had when he said it was too soon?
Have you been working for the last 8 years?
29 isn't too old to have a baby!?
Sorry to be blunt but I don't get what the problem is. Please explain.
nanuchini
Feb 1, 2012, 05:40 PM
Every body come with there own luck. May be he is not getting money or job because no kid. Read lot of people's situation change after kid came. We wanted only one child and after my daughter was 7 year I got pregnant and my husband did not like it but I gave birth and that kid is now 12 year old. Every thing which he worried was gone and remaining gone very quickly too.
Main problem of us than we imagine stuff before it happen. First you have to get pregnant than when you bring kid home from hospital you will see most of stuff you worried is not there.You will find solution.
JudyKayTee
Feb 1, 2012, 05:43 PM
That was 8 years ago and now he says we can 'make it' with the job he has now. I'm very hurt, confused, angry and now I'm wondering what next ? If I have the child will he just up and leave me when it all gets to hard? He reassures me he won't. But I don't trust him to not lie to me again. I wanted kids when I was younger, I'm now 29 and feel like my body is ticking time bomb, the desperation I feel when I see a baby is overwhelming.
I'm lost here - 8 years ago apparently he made the decision (and you must have agreed) to wait to have children (with you - ?) until he had a better job. Now he has a better job and thinks this is a good time.
You are desperate to have a child BUT you are "hurt, confused and angry" about what to do next?
Why do you think he will leave you when he has a chld with you?
Did he leave another woman and another child or children to be with you? Is this a case of "he did it to her and them, what if he does it to me?"
Fr_Chuck
Feb 1, 2012, 06:01 PM
The way I see it, 8 years ago he wanted to wait till he got a better job, he has not gotten a better job but now says that you and he can make it with a child on his current income.
Ok, what in the heck is the issue, he knows you are wanting one, he looks and see that he will not be getting a better job, so he gives in and agrees to have one.
You want a child but now that he agrees, he is lying since he has changed his mind?
This is all I see in the post you did, unless there is a lot of other info, you look like you are trying to find a problem or issue where there is none,
Changing your mind 8 years latter is not lying, it is changing his mind