I think my relationship with my partner is over. We have gone through so much and we gave up so much for each other - I left my children with their dad and gave up shared residency and moved so that we could have a fresh start, he also left his son with his ex and gave up his shared residency. We lived together for 3 years and although we had our ups and downs like most relationships things were going well. But then I got ill and left my job, meaning I had very little money in regards to traveling to see my children and my family (although they aren't the most supportive of people). I decided that I had to move back to live nearer my children. He decided that we were over and that was 9 months ago.
I lived in a hostel and I have no friends or supportive family here... but I did it and got a house for me and my 2 children to come and stay at weekends.

My partner and I decided to get back together 6 months ago as we realized how much we loved each other and he said he would move up here with me. Things were fine until Christmas - he said we needed to talk about arrangements in regards to traveling (he still hadn't found a job - but I didn't want to push him and nag him so I didn't mind. Things were great over Christmas, and there was an argument with my 12 year old and him on the last day. After that he packed all his stuff and left.
I decided to go and visit him a few weeks ago - and we were great again - he even said he was going to increase the amount of jobs he would apply for to move up here and he told me how much he loved me blah blah blah...

And he came up again last weekend and things were great again and he left more things behind (clothes "his things")
We planned to go away for the summer with all our children and looked at places etc... and we also planned to go away this weekend with his friends. But as soon as he got back things changed again - he got all cold and distant and planned the weekend without me... He even said he doesn't miss me any more... and it's too tiring for him. Things have been strained... we still speak but not as much - he doesn't contact me first and today he hasn't contacted me at all (it's now 4.30pm) where as he used to always text me every morning...

He's going to his friends all weekend and I'm so confused and hurt and upset... We are in a long distance relationship and we need to talk - but the last time we said we would we ended up just hugging each other and enjoying being together...
What's going on? And what do I do? My heart is breaking here... I'm on antidepressants already after these last few months being so hard with my mum and dad being ill and then my son having seizures - I can't cope any more. And now this!

If you love that person.. you will always fight for him and never give up on your love

I think you need to back away from him and concentrate on getting your life in order. It sounds like you do not need any added stress and he is definitely adding more. Do what you need to do take care of yourself and your family. Take time for yourself to become involved in activities where you can meet new friends and rebuild old relationships. Build a future that you like whether there is man there to share it or not.

You sound like you have a lot of strength in you. Find ways to build up that strength. Things that encourage you to feel good about you. The relationship you have with yourself should be the core of your support system.

I could guess that he is feeling pressured by all of the talk about future plans when he doesn't have a job where you are located. A special needs child may seem like more than he can handle. There could be a dozen more reasons he is backing off. Only he can tell you why if he chooses to communicate with you.

I am wondering why you got involved with him in the first place and left your children behind to be with him. It almost seems like he (and you) were looking for new lives and new futures with very few ties to the past. Could he be perceiving your return to something closer to your previous life as a betrayal of the commitment he had with you? What is his relationship with his children like? How much involvement does he have in their lives? Could he have found someone who isn't as tied to her family as you are and is a better playmate?

I agree, I still find it hard one chose someone else and moved away from kids to start with.

But it sounds like he is not in this seriously and ready to make a firm commitment. And he finds it too easy to hit the door when things don't go his way.

You have to many things tugging at you, and I think step back from the relationship, and deal with your kids, and family concerns. You can't do everything at once, or solve many problems instantly.

Too much worrying about the things you cannot control will make you sick, and useless to the ones that need you the most. But I think you already know that already!