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View Full Version : I have problem bcs of address. Really for nursery?


adrika
Jan 27, 2012, 04:17 AM
I have problem. My boyfriend ex-gf wants his address, bcs of nursery. They have 2y old son and he is with us every weekend, every second or when she need help. Does she have right to his address? I won't let her know our address. She is not normal and I'm just nervous from her. We have very much problems with her. We accept her more like she us. I want spend my life with him and have kids, bcs its time, but they haven't sorted things about son. She start be not normal, she text him her son must be 4him always first and I'm nothing. I have fear have kids, bcs of that. She told him he is different last month, he not help her with son. But truth is different. We just moved. We made him him room on xmass time, we buy him everything what he need there and we haven't lots of money. He was with us on halloween, xmass time, new year every weekend. And 4 example she had problem with kidney stones maybe 1 week. We helped her at home with wee boy. And after time I had kidney problems too. Was it really bad. I was in emergency and nearly hospitalised. My boyfriend next day needed go to work and she know it. But she give little boy to us. I was alone for him in bloody pain. She won't go on court. Why? Bcs she can lost money. By the way she wanted be alone if she was pregnant. She leave my boyfriend and he seen wee boy just couple of times, than one year not bcs of her choice again. When I meet him and we had start, after 1 month she text him, how is he and what will be with wee boy. But he is not toy. Its child! I'm worried from this situation and from his son as well. Isn't his faul. Really don't know what to do. I'm strong person, but this is very much. Sorry 4not good english, but I still just learn thanks please give me answer

ScottGem
Jan 27, 2012, 04:23 AM
Do you mean is the ex entitled to know where your boyfriend lives? If he has visitation rights and the child stays overnight where he lives, then yes she is entitled to know where.

It is not her choice to go to court. If your boyfriend wants to formalize custody, visitation and support, then he can bring an action in court and she will have to respond.

JudyKayTee
Jan 27, 2012, 09:55 AM
If you are AFRAID of the mother, then you need to get a restraining order. Otherwise she is entitled to know where her child is when he's with you and your boyfriend.

Fr_Chuck
Jan 27, 2012, 02:18 PM
Yes, most mothers would never let the child go , if she does not know where the child is going to be at.

adrika
Jan 27, 2012, 03:13 PM
I understand, but for example, she said she need help and we have take him for couple of days, bcs she need to go visit her mum or sister and after our days with him we seen on fb she was on party, friend wedding day and other. This is right? Why she lie? He like dad got the same right where she is, we never lie to her. Its not stupid, what u think?

ScottGem
Jan 27, 2012, 04:37 PM
First, I think that you mean because not bcs and you, not u. This is not texting, we type in full words and sentences here.

I also think she is probably insecure and somewhat immature. Maybe she didn't think you would help out if she told the truth. Maybe she senses your antagonism towards her.

This is the mother of your boyfriend's child. Therefore she is going to be part of your life and you need to make the best of it.

What I'm not clear on is what you want here. You aren't going to get her out of your life. You may not get her to fully cooperate with you. So you need to make the best of it.

adrika
Jan 27, 2012, 06:38 PM
Sorry I used you but I text from my phone. Next you really don't know her attitude and conversation with us. You don't know how she has bad care about son. If we pick him up, he smell so bad, food on hairs, dirty clothes, ears, broken nails on feets because she doesn't cut, not good size of nappies, red and not good clean ***, he got every time the cold and more.. We trying fix everything, we have really good care about him, he always going from us sorted with everything what I said, but if we pick him up next time, he is the same, because of her.

ScottGem
Jan 27, 2012, 07:14 PM
So what do you want?

adrika
Jan 27, 2012, 11:44 PM
Look he got the same responsibility like she. Just we want sorted it and wee boy need better care. And my boyfriend want make dna test because he is not sure. And he want go to lawyers and pay for child how say court. And he want make agreement between her and him when he will be with child, because we always accept her and she not.

adrika
Jan 27, 2012, 11:51 PM
And is very interessting you haven't reaction about her care for son. But you know give on me bad reaction. Here is important child! Im sure if you see her and our care, you have different reaction! Never mind..

ScottGem
Jan 28, 2012, 05:20 AM
This is a Q&A site, people come here to get advice on how to deal with a problem. I didn't react to your description of her care because that doesn't do you any good. Do you want someone to say what a bad mother she is or do you want advice on what to do about it?

If you want her to take better care of the child, then call Family Services and report her. They will investigate and recommend a course of action. It could be parenting classes or monitored care or something similar.

If you want custody of the child, then he needs to go to Family court and file for custody. If he has not been declared the legal father then why did he agree to whatever arrangement you have now?

adrika
Jan 28, 2012, 06:57 AM
Sorry we are just worried. Thank you for your time and informations!

ScottGem
Jan 28, 2012, 06:59 AM
I understand you are concerned for the child. So you document your concerns and report them to the proper authorities or use them when you file for custody. It would help to have an attorney who can tell you how to document the issues.

adrika
Jan 28, 2012, 09:31 AM
Really thank you for help, we try sorted this situation. I hope soon. From everyone answer we are more clever now. Step by step and we will see.. And if we will not see any changes, last answer help to us. Thank you again