View Full Version : Out of love?
HellHound82
Jan 25, 2012, 12:04 PM
Ok I am starting to believe that my girlfriend no longer cares for me, and may even be cheating. I do still believe there has been no sex between the two but it seems she cares more for him than she does for me. This other guy we'll call ron is always flirting with her through text messages while his wife's not around and while they are at work. She says they are only friends and has no interest in him but when she goes in and he's there she dresses up and puts on make up which otherwise she never does, she hardly talks to me anymore, and its like pulling teeth to get her to even give me a kiss anymore... What do you think and what should I do?
mmresd
Jan 25, 2012, 12:50 PM
Sit down with her and talk to her if she is still wanting to be in a relationship, tell her what you are currently feelings (leave out the trust issues you are having). After her response make a decision with the new gathered information, maybe you will notice that something you or her are doing is wrong and you two should be able to work at it to make things better. Or, it is also possible that the only thing keeping this relationship going is codependancy and not love or even desire to be with one another, at that time you should probably just thank her for the experiences and live your lives apart. No point in continuing something BOTH of you are not interested in. But remember, communication is key here, DO NOT argue, just talk.
HellHound82
Jan 25, 2012, 03:11 PM
M I have talked with her before and she knows she did some things that hurt me. i.e.. Sending him a topless pic of her and that I forgave her for them but the behavior has not stopped, the co dependent thing also holds some truth she lives with me and has nowhere else for her and the kids to go. I do love her and if it doesn't work I won't have her out on the streets I would leave before kicking her out. I just don't know how to bring it up without sounding like I'm accusing her have tried twice and it only ended up in an argument.
mmresd
Jan 25, 2012, 03:26 PM
If you have tried to fix it, and she is not willing then there is nothing else you can do. She is NOT your responsibility, and if she was because she was your girlfriend then SHE messed it up by betraying your love and respect for her. It is time that she sleeps on the bed she has made for herself, especially if she has not stopped the behaviour... It is unacceptable.
You do not need someone like that in your live, and she doesn't deserve to have someone who cares as much as you taking care of her in that manner. She needs to grow up, and you need to be a man and put your foot down. And I say that to you with the utmost respect.
Homegirl 50
Jan 25, 2012, 03:39 PM
This does no sound like a person who respects you. As long as you continue in this she will continue to do what she does.
It is time to put your foot down and get out of this mess.
HellHound82
Jan 25, 2012, 04:15 PM
I realise that this is something I should talk to a professional about but since I can't afford to this is all I have left... Basically my issue is a complete lack of emotion... I can't seem to feel happiness, love, even for my own children I feel the same about them as I do for co workers. I understand how I am expected to respond to situations and that's how I hide it, I have had 5 years of learning to hide my emotions so that helps me hide it but I seriously feel like I have a problem I just feel empty.
talaniman
Jan 26, 2012, 12:11 PM
Hello again guy, glad to see you were able to move on but sorry it wasn't to better things. Are these kids YOURS? If not she has 30 days to hit the road. If they are, then you get custody, and she has 30 days to hit the road.
You are numb to emotions because you are reluctant to acknowledge your hurt and pain with this situation, and feel helpless to change it. REMOVE yourself, or REMOVE what's causing you pain, and feelings will return. ITS GOING TO HURT A LOT AT FIRST, but healing will occur when you take the burr of bad behavior by this female out of your arse.
Deep down, you know I am right.
HellHound82
Jan 26, 2012, 06:21 PM
We will see what happens she is getting her last chance tonight and no those aren't my kids, ex wife has already taken mine
HellHound82
Mar 6, 2012, 09:48 AM
Hello again everyone, I am no longer having any woman problems, but I am still worried about my sanity, my indifference. Has moved to a unbias hatred of everyone
mmresd
Mar 6, 2012, 11:28 AM
About your sanity? What seems to be disturbing you?
Kahani Punjab
Mar 6, 2012, 12:13 PM
Dear,
You have your own dignity and self-respect. Do not let anyone take command of your life, and I am sure, you are not allowing anyone, even to do so. Still, I wish you good luck!
My advice to you is to talk to her, communicate your feelings to her, and I am sure, something will for sure, come out of it.
HellHound82
Mar 6, 2012, 12:59 PM
M My moods have been rapidly declining for some time now, started just being depressed, to where as I said before I couldn't feel happiness, love any of those feelings, even for my kids, now I am down to two feelngs numbness and hatred, I get to the point where I don't go outside because I may hit a neighbor just for looking at me. At my best I am completely numb, nothing bothers me, nothing makes me happy.
talaniman
Mar 6, 2012, 03:33 PM
So what does your doctor say when you tell him these things, about your emotions, and feelings?
HellHound82
Mar 6, 2012, 07:13 PM
I don't have one, can't afford it, that's whys I turn to this place... its free and someone out there has to have an answer...
Oh by the way for anyone wondering what happened with the girlfriend, she finally admtted that she fell in love with another man
talaniman
Mar 6, 2012, 08:06 PM
If you are in America, visit a free clinic near you, because only a face to face with a professional trained in what you need, someone to test and diagnose, can really help. If he cannot, he can guide you to someone who can, free or at little cost.
Most of us take a very long time to work through our feelings when we get dumped, and some of us need help, and there is no shame in that.
HellHound82
Jul 30, 2012, 01:24 PM
If you are in America, visit a free clinic near you
How can I find one of these clinics?
talaniman
Jul 30, 2012, 03:05 PM
Are you in America? Just Google free clinic, + your zipcode.
How have you been guy?
HellHound82
Nov 17, 2012, 06:35 PM
Tal life for me still sucks in general but even without getting help I have found a temporary outlet, I have been spending a lot of time with a new friend that actual is able to make me happy just by being around me.