nothingleft
Jan 23, 2012, 04:32 PM
I'm 14 years old and I've been seeing this guy for just over a month. So far you are probably thinking its just a school girl crush but to me its so much more than that. I've been with guys before him and none of them have treated me right- a user and a cheater etc...
When I first got with this guy I was the happiest person on earth I got to know him and a lot about him as he did to me. We used to meet up in school and at weekends.But one day I was off school ill and a friend I had been talking to on skype was near my house. I had never met him before in my life but my friend had.I said if you want come over and say hi so he did. We got talking and had a laugh but there was a moment when our eyes met and he kissed me at first I pushed him away thinking of my boyfriend. But the guy kept going until I gave in and just let him.
After he had gone I spent the rest of the day thinking about what had happened. I felt so guilty. So I told my boyfriend but to my surprise he said its okay babe its fine we will get through this. And for the next few days he was right things went back to normal but the guy who had kissed me kept talking to me and saying we should meet up again. I explained to him about how what happened was a big mistake and that it can never happen again. He seemed to understand so I carried on talking to him.
But one night we had a heart to heart conversation and I ended up sitting topless on web cam to him as he masturbated over my body. As it was happening I got that same guilty feeling but this time much worse. I wanted to turn off the cam and tell him to go away but I couldn't do it because I know he would feel like a fool so I let it carry on.
I never told my boyfriend about that. A few days after that my boyfriend began getting weird with me and started arguing with the skype friend I didn't want to lose my boyfriend over what had happened or get my friend in trouble for it either. So I told my friend that I couldn't talk to him anymore and our conversations became less and less until nothing.
Meanwhile my boyfriend was telling me how he didn't know if he could be with me anymore which to some extent I understood but id never felt about anyone the way I felt about him. But in the end he ended it and I was heartbroken however he told me he still loved me and we got talking again and tried to work things out. Today he decided to ask me out again and obviously I said yes.
My skype friend was out of my life and in order for me to talk to my boyfriend properly about what happened I bunked school for him as he was ill. I spent the day being happy again but this evening he spoke to me on Facebook and said that he was sorry but he couldn't do it with me anymore he had to got too much hassle from people who found out about what I did and he had fallen out of love with me and liked someone else.
Since then I've been crying and I'm emotionally unstable so I have all these thought of killing myself and hurting myself. I don't know what to do I want him to be happy but then I fear if he finds happiness with the other girl I will never find it. I love him so much and honestly any ideas would be much appreciated as I have literally given up on life because to me its not worth living without him.
When I first got with this guy I was the happiest person on earth I got to know him and a lot about him as he did to me. We used to meet up in school and at weekends.But one day I was off school ill and a friend I had been talking to on skype was near my house. I had never met him before in my life but my friend had.I said if you want come over and say hi so he did. We got talking and had a laugh but there was a moment when our eyes met and he kissed me at first I pushed him away thinking of my boyfriend. But the guy kept going until I gave in and just let him.
After he had gone I spent the rest of the day thinking about what had happened. I felt so guilty. So I told my boyfriend but to my surprise he said its okay babe its fine we will get through this. And for the next few days he was right things went back to normal but the guy who had kissed me kept talking to me and saying we should meet up again. I explained to him about how what happened was a big mistake and that it can never happen again. He seemed to understand so I carried on talking to him.
But one night we had a heart to heart conversation and I ended up sitting topless on web cam to him as he masturbated over my body. As it was happening I got that same guilty feeling but this time much worse. I wanted to turn off the cam and tell him to go away but I couldn't do it because I know he would feel like a fool so I let it carry on.
I never told my boyfriend about that. A few days after that my boyfriend began getting weird with me and started arguing with the skype friend I didn't want to lose my boyfriend over what had happened or get my friend in trouble for it either. So I told my friend that I couldn't talk to him anymore and our conversations became less and less until nothing.
Meanwhile my boyfriend was telling me how he didn't know if he could be with me anymore which to some extent I understood but id never felt about anyone the way I felt about him. But in the end he ended it and I was heartbroken however he told me he still loved me and we got talking again and tried to work things out. Today he decided to ask me out again and obviously I said yes.
My skype friend was out of my life and in order for me to talk to my boyfriend properly about what happened I bunked school for him as he was ill. I spent the day being happy again but this evening he spoke to me on Facebook and said that he was sorry but he couldn't do it with me anymore he had to got too much hassle from people who found out about what I did and he had fallen out of love with me and liked someone else.
Since then I've been crying and I'm emotionally unstable so I have all these thought of killing myself and hurting myself. I don't know what to do I want him to be happy but then I fear if he finds happiness with the other girl I will never find it. I love him so much and honestly any ideas would be much appreciated as I have literally given up on life because to me its not worth living without him.