My 19 year old daughter has a 2 year old son, both of them living with me, my husband, and other 2 children. My daughter is very disrespectful, using extreme profanity and disrespect in front of my grandson and other 2 children. She basically knows she has me over a barrel because I don't want her to take the baby to live somewhere else, because the friends she has my grandson around and would probably try to live with are on drugs and most have records ( her boyfriend has actually been to prison for armed robbery). She openly defies me and tells me there is nothing I can do about it because she will take the baby and I will never see him again. She steals money from my wallet, and the one time she lived with friends she was arrested for underage drinking. I have tried to assign a very minimal amount of chores but she refuses to do them, and my 14 year old has gotten to the point she will do them when I am not home and tell me my oldest daughter did it because she too is scared my daughter will leave and take the baby. She has recently been drinking and driving ( not with the baby in the car). She leaves dirty diapers laying everywhere, refuses to attempt to potty train him, stays out tntil midnight several nights a week with the baby, and if she doesn't have the baby she stays out all night then sleeps all day the next day, puts dirty dishes in the couch or under the couch! I am basically at my witts end and I don't know how much I can take! I have thought about reporting her for drunk driving so she will be arrested and spend the night in jail so I can get a break. She smokes in the car with the baby so he smells like smoke all the time. She never washes his clothes ( she however wears her clothes and then will take my middle daughters clothes when hers are dirty. I want custody of my grandson and I want her to move out! What can I do? I have no doubt she loves the baby, but her hate for me out weighs that and she purposely does things that make me angry knowing its not good for the baby i.e. smoking and keeping him out tntil all hours! Should I throw her out, knowing she will take the baby somewhere unsuitable ( and I would not know where because she knows I would call DSS)? Or should I put up with it? Can I get custody? She does have a job, for the last few weeks anyway, and she did register in a community tech college so she is making attempts but I just can't live with her anymore! What can I do..

You can attempt to PROVE she's an unfit mother, a danger to the child both physically and mentally.

You can throw her out and pray she doesn't take the baby - but that doesn't look like it's going to happen.

You probably can't get custody UNLESS you prove her unfit and the Court gives custody to you. I know the problems with notifying child protective services BUT if the child is in danger you may have to.

What would I do? I'd make a move by contacting an Attorney familiar with family law and getting suggestions. My concern is that if you don't jump on this first she's just going to pick up with somebody and move out and you'll have NO control over the situation.

I can't imagine being in your position - but I think at this point until your daughter "grows up," she's a lost cause. The baby is not.

Take action.

You can report the situation to social services and offer to foster the child. Of course this could backfire.

Honestly you have to stop it, even if she does move out, and she did and ended up back with you, So he is the one more bluffing, since if she really had someone good to go, she would be gone.

** don't pay any of her bills, just help with baby, keep a record of her neglect ( but the issue is as long as you are caring for the child, the child is not in danger and daughter is caring for the child by having you do it.

But honestly and I know it is hard, you show her the door. Period tell her when she can show respect call back.
Do if for the good of your younger daughter who will end up like this, if you let her see she can do it too.