View Full Version : Child Custody / Child Support
jackieoohbaby
Jan 21, 2012, 12:12 AM
I am 6 months pregnant and unmarried. I live in Washington State. My baby's Father chooses to not support or help provide whatsoever. When my Son is born am I automatically given Sole Physical & Legal Custody? Even if I put him as the Father on the Birth Certificate?
If I file for Child Support what Legal Rights is he granted?
I find him unfit as a Father due to his choice of lifestyle, decisions & person. He can not properly provide and is not a good role model or figure for my Son. ( Drugs, Partying) He has a daughter from a previous relationship in which has little to do with.
I want him to see, visit and to be apart of my son and I's life, but, on my terms, in my company and as long as I feel its best for my Son.
So is it possible to have Sole Physical / Legal Custody, receive Child Support and the Father only have Visitation Rights at my home or in my company?
ScottGem
Jan 21, 2012, 06:55 AM
Yes its possible, but its not your choice. If you do not put him on the birth certificate, then he will have no rights unless he goes to court for them. But if you apply for child support then he will be named the legal father with all the rights that entails.
Not sure of the law in WA, but some place do not allow you to list a father unless the father agrees to sign an acknowledgement of paternity. You can check with the hospital for the rules.
Either way, as soon as you petition the court for support, they will order a paternity test (unless he signs an acknowledgement) and declare him the legal father.
You can't force him to visit with his child, but you will not be able to completing control visitation should he want it. While you may think him unfit, I don't see enough for a court to severely limit his visitation. The question will be asked as to why you chose to have sex with him if he was such a bad person.
I suggest you consult a Family Law attorney about your options.
JudyKayTee
Jan 21, 2012, 08:39 AM
In Washington State if the parents are unmarried only the name of the mother appears on the birth certificate. (How to make changes to birth and death certificates (http://www.kingcounty.gov/healthservices/health/vitalstats/changes.aspx))
Your filing for support - which you could be "forced" to do if you apply for financial assistance from the State - is NOT connected to him getting visitation. They are separate issues. You would file for support. He would counter for custody and/or visitation. The Court would order DNA testing to be positive that he is the father.
If you believe he is unfit you will have to PROVE it - not by accusation, by proof. I do not believe you can block visitation and I also do not believe you will have the total control of the situation which you are requesting. He is the other parent with rights equal to your rights.
And Scott raises a very good question which the Court may ask - he is a very bad person with all sorts of problems and vices... and you were having sex with him AND are now having his child? It's an issue you will have to address, whether you want to or not.
Fr_Chuck
Jan 21, 2012, 01:16 PM
The father has the same rights if you file for support or don't file for support,
The father has the same "rights" if you have him on the birth certificate or not.
The only difference is if he is not on the birth certificate he has to prove paternity normally with a DNA test.
jackieoohbaby
Jan 21, 2012, 01:31 PM
Thank you for your responses.
I'm not going to go into full detail as to what happened. But, he made himself out to be something that he wasent, and when I saw his true colors I ended the Relationship. Unknown, I had became pregnant due to contraceptive failure before it ended.
I am Pro- Life and of course kept my child.
I am not at all being spiteful in anyway twords him and or being hateful. I've been the bigger person and
I've even went above and beyond for him to be involved and to develop a civil relationship between us for our Son, but he just can't be decent.
I know I can't force him or make him do right. It just makes me sick because its all about what's best for my little baby. This baby deserves child support.
Its just hard knowing if I ask for it through the state, its giving rights to a deadbeat.
I almost wonder if its something I should even file for. If the measly Hundres Dollars or so would truly be worth him having any sort custody.
AK lawyer
Jan 21, 2012, 02:31 PM
...The father has the same "rights" if you have him on the birth certificate or not. ....
I beg to differ.
Think about it: Any man would have the "right" to take any child, or at least one born out-of-wedlock an without a father named on the birth certificate, and the police could not do a thing. The mother would have to take him to court to get her child back.
Fr_Chuck
Jan 21, 2012, 05:28 PM
No, I will argue the point, he has those rights, he has the same rights, merely not able to use or enforce any.
Once separted and once she would file for custody, even on the birth certificate, he can not just take the child any longer.
But the issue here is that filing for welfare does not give him any rights, he already has those rights, the issue is responsible, if you file for welfare, then my tax money goes to pay you, and it should not, if there is a father to pay child support. So what people who want welfare without child support is saying. We would rather take the money from people we don't know, than making the person who should be paying pay up.
JudyKayTee
Jan 21, 2012, 06:22 PM
How is accepting support giving visitation to a deadbeat? They are different issues. Don't file for support, the father files for visitation 1, 2 or more years from now and he'll get that visitation - and your child will have been raised on $X less per month.
Speaking as a taxpayer in NY - and there is a HUGE welfare/medicaid recipient base - I'm very tired of paying high taxes to support other people's children.