Hey... my case is a bit complicated,at least that's what I think.. ok... I was in a "relationship" with someone for about 3 months when I came out pregnant,he knew about it and said he was going to be there etc etc etc.. two weeks after I found out I was pregnant,he decided not to talk to me ever again,because he wasn't "ready" for a child,but then again who is when you don't plan a baby? Anyway... he left me,I tried to convince him to stay with me for the baby,and he said I should have an abortion which of course I DID NOT get... when I was 7 months pregnant I tried to contact him again so he could give up his rights legally,but he said he didn't,he wanted to be there for " his son".. but 2 weeks later,he disappeared AGAIN, my son is not 8 months,he has not contacted me about seeing the baby,my friends tried to talk to him and he said my name "didnt ring a bell"... so my question is as follows... can I file for child support? And is there a way I can get child support WITHOUT him having the right to see my son.. I don't want him near my son... I have all the messages I sent him asking him to be there where he refused to,so I don't know if that's going to b any help... HELP ME PLEASE! My son needs the money he keeps spending on iPhones,and other electronics... just saying.

By the way we're from NEW YORK

You file for child support at your local office and name him as the potential father. They will order a DNA test and then he can start paying child support. As far as blocking visitation there is nothing that you have said to indicate that he is an actual threat to the child so if he applies for visitation he will most likely get it.

I tried to contact him again so he could give up his rights legally,

There is this myth that a parent can just sign away his rights. But its only a myth. You might want to check out this sticky at the top of this forum:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family-law/signing-over-rights-read-first-116098.html

You made the choice to have sex with this man and now you have to deal with the consequences of that choice. Yes you should have filed for child support as soon as you gave birth. But, unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, he has the right to see his child.

I am also in NEW YORK. Unless you can PROVE he's a danger to the child either physically or emotionally he WILL get visitation rights, whether he pays support.

He cannot sign "off" on his rights - as everyone has said.

You can file for child support OR if you collect State or County benefits THEY can file on your behalf (and without your consent).

This is the problem when you have sex with unreliable or unstable or downright dangerous men.

Thanks everyone,unfortunally my blackberry automatically deleted all the messages where he told me he was selling drugs ugh.. but I do know he is now living with his grandma,he doestn have his own room,he shares with two foster kids who are under medication for anger management and he doesn't have a steady job,would that be enough?>

It is probably enough to require supervised visitation until he changes his circumstances. But not anywhere near enough to get his rights terminated.

thanks everyone,unfortunally my blackberry automatically deleted all the msgs where he told me he was selling drugs ugh..but i do know he is now living with his grandma,he doestn have his own room,he shares with two foster kids who are under medication for anger management and he doesnt have a steady job,would that b enough?>


What can you PROVE through third-party evidence?

He sounds like a nightmare on feet - BUT it's going to be about the prooof. I've seen email messages (and texting) thrown out of Court because it's considered to be bragging (or just plain shooting off your mouth to scare other people).

You need PROOF in the form of people willing to testify - if it comes down to that.

(I also notice that you put "relationship" in quotes. Does this mean there was no reltionship and there is a possibility that this man is not the father?)

Oh he is the father... 100%.. the kid couldn't look more like him... I put "relationship" in quotes because I believe it's a two way street,and when I thought things were right,to him they were the total opposite.. there was no relationship meaning there was no commitment from his part to make me happy or to take responsibility for his actions,kind of found out late,but I'm glad I did.

Okay, I understand. If you file for support he will pobably ask for DNA testing. That's "usually" what happens and sometimes it's a Court requirement.

To recap, he can not "give up his rights" so you first request has no bearing and is just a myth.

Next he can file for visits even if you don't ask for support, so your asking for support does not stop it.
Next no you can't stop him from asking for visits. You can if he does, fight to see how little he will get and how it may be supervised.

So you can't worry about visits, that is up to him and what he will or won't really do.

Expect threats of course when you file for support, while of course it is a guess, but it is very common for the dead beat dad to threaten to take custody of the child, perhaps even threaten you. But those are just threats.

You need to just do what is best of the child, get the support.