How can I retain my status as a respected father to my defiant stepchildren and beloved husband to my currently separated wife who came with these five biological children of hers who are now showing resentment to me?

I'm a stepmother. Why are you and the mother of the children separated? Why do they appear to blame you for the split?

You earn respect. It's not a given.

How to return to "beloved husband" status? Depends on why you split.

How do you gain "respected father" status? Again, depends on what happened.

There is no "one answer fits all".