Okay, so I'm a 19 year old guy, and I go to college where I met this girl. I was pretty interested in her so, I approached her, and we start talking, and became friends. I can't describe how great our friendship, and how close we became, there wasn't a topic we didn't talk about, and we literally talked to each other about everything! It was actually weird if we didn't talk for a day, or two, it rarely happens and that's how close we became.

However through my friendship with her, her love life was going upside down, she knows this guy who was her boyfriend for 5 long years (she is also 19 so it's pretty much childhood love to now), and when I was still her best friend she got back with him (this is their 4th relapse). He always treated her bad, whether it was before, or now, he always treated her bad, and once they fought AGAIN, and stopped talking for two weeks (that was 1 year after we met). We both had developed feelings for each other, and she was ready to leave him for me. Once it finally happened that guy cussed her calling her a ***** and many things I'd be ashamed to call her!

After all these years he does that to her! She gets to crying, and whatever, and she was okay. After that by a few weeks, we confessed our feelings, and became friends with benefits (not sex benefits just love benefits), as I don't think she was ready yet. However about a month and half later we got together, and we stayed for just two and a half months which were like heaven to me. I've never really loved anyone since all my relationships were for fun, she even changed my mind about marriage, everything was just perfect, until she saw her ex in a mall all dressed up (in her words, possibly waiting for a date). She told me these bad news crying to me on the phone, that sadness developed into her wanting to breakup, and her reason was that she doesn't want anything to do with relationships as she has "seen enough" and said if me and her are meant to be maybe one day we'd get married.

So she is basically looking for marriage directly now. (scared I would repeat what her ex did) So, after the break up happened I really had a hard time seeing her as a friend, and keep making jokes about us being a couple, and indirectly saying I love you, in hopes she'd miss what we had. NOW the big part is that she had mentioned several times she misses her ex, even though he did that to her, and she also misses all the memories with him (I understand the long relationship they had) so now she keeps getting depressed every time I indirectly show my love to her, and she seems very happy when I act just like a best friend. It almost seems like she never loved me, although one day when we were together she once said "I'm her dream guy".

Should I try and move on, or wait for her to maybe get back into her right mind, because I really love this girl and wouldn't mind getting married to her! Although all signs show negatively to me!

She already has her right mind and its you that are the desperate one hoping for romance to return. Its not going to happen though guy with out a proper healing from you both. Hers could take years before she is ready for a healthy relationship, and unfortunately it might not be with you, as you are a friend that helped her through the dark times, much like a doctor caring for a patient, and when the patient is well, she will no longer need a doctor.

Sorry guy, but your healing starts with accepting that you are just a friend, even if it means leaving her alone until you can. Or anything sweet she does will be a sign of returned hopes of romance, and rip your heart out when its not.

Why can't you just be honest, and tell her this friendship crap is killing you. Not I love you, but you are hurting me!!

You wrongly assume hanging around and being her emotional tampon will get romance because you are there for her. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. You should have known that when she went back to the ex after the fantastic, close friendship you shared, and the rebound, so called benefits of love that came after.

Talaniman Rule - Never, ever, give your heart to someone who still wants the ex.

You knew she was already taken, but failed to protect yourself. Do so NOW!

This seems like a nice guy vs. bad boy battle. She keeps going back to this guy for the sole reason that he treats her badly and acts like he doesn't need her. You are the opposite of him because you show that you need her but she isn't attracted to that. She wants what she perceives as a strong man, the kind of guy who can get other girls (waiting for a date in the mall) and doesn't care about whether he keeps the one he has.

I'd say you find someone who appreciates you for who you are: a nice guy. You can still be her friend but I think it will only hurt you in the long run. If you really want to be with her, then you should slowly ease up on the contact with her and let her come to you. This whole time you've been chasing her and that's not what she wants, she's a chaser. In the end it's up to you: you can keep being her friend even though it hurts and you will only be used as an emotional rag to wipe up her tears, you can stop all contact with her and stop the pain, or you can give her less attention and change yourself to fit what she wants. The choice is yours.