dylanhashoeson
Jan 12, 2012, 02:19 PM
Hey guys, I'm new here and I've been spending the past week looking for advice on how to reconcile my ex girlfriend and I's differences. We were together for a little over a year and a half. I love her very much. It's only been around 4 days since she left me. The week prior we hit a bit of a tough patch but that Friday we seemed to resolve it. That weekend we were both with different friends and she didn't talk to me much. Looking back on it now, I probably annoyed the hell out of her. I was just so worried because I just had this gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. I was dying to remind her that I love her, and tell her how adamant I was about fixing what we had. That Sunday when I called her, she got upset and told me that we needed to take a break. I immediately broke down. She means the world to me, and I had no idea I was pushing her away. I feel like such a fool now because of how I acted when she gave me the news. I begged and pleaded but she seemed to not care at all.
That night I got really drunk and pissed her off with an assortment of calls and texts. The next day I couldn't even go to school because I couldn't bear to see her. The next Tuesday at school was rough because I have a class with her and we sit together at lunch. We went to the park together after school so I could talk to her. I begged some more and she even said she still loved me. She said she wanted some time for herself but I felt like she wasn't telling me everything. However I didn't pester her on the matter. That night I searched the net for help because I was constantly vomiting and couldn't sleep or eat. I realized that I need to stop telling her I'll change and show her instead. The next day I was cheerful and polite. I didn't talk about 'us' and tried to remind her why she loved me in the first place. It took a lot of strength to build up the confidence but it felt good. That night we called each other and talked again. I told her that the break up was a good thing after all and I felt stronger and had pride for the first time. I also told her that even though I was healing in small doses, I still missed her. She didn't comment but we worked on some homework together and then talked some more. After telling me she thought about painting me (shes a wonderful artist) and asking me to see her at work next week and eat dinner at the restaurant she works at I was beginning to feel good. I told her (in a very hitting on kind of way) that I'd let her use my likeness in a painting if she agreed to let me take her out next weekend. At first she asked very emotionally, "Why? Like a date?" I hesitated but, I dug down and told myself to say what my heart says. I said very firmly, "Yes, exactly, like a date.". At first she said no, that it was too soon after we broke up.
Instead of acting how I felt I said it was fine and okay. Then she said in a soft voice (the kind that reminds me of why I love her so much) that she would "think about it". I told her good and then we talked for another minute about small things and I told her that I had work to do so I had to go. I said if she wanted to talk she could text me and that I'd see her at school. She didn't text me that night and I didn't text her. I was so happy. I felt like she just told me in that little doubtful sentence that she still cared and was willing to try again after all. I was finally able to eat and slept great. Today I went to class on cloud 9. It was almost like I was never dumped. When Lunch came around, I eagerly waited for her to walk in. When she did she looked like she was having a bad time so I asked how she was holding up. She assured me she was fine and that she was just tired. Soon she began to perk up and joke with me and laugh with me and such. We even smiled at each other a lot. She began to talk about how bored she'd be after school, so I offered my company. She just said "no" and I didn't pursue any further. The rest of lunch she was reserved and didn't share herself with me like I wanted. I noticed that she's been texting this guy all week. It made me feel sick. I didn't ask her about it because I knew that, technically, it wasn't my business. Regardless it burned like hell. I even texted her friend and asked her how my ex was doing. I told her to please not tell that I asked as I was trying to give her the space she asked for. She never answered and that worried me.
I texted my ex after class and told her that I felt like she was in a bad mood and then told her to cheer up and have a good day. She said that she was fine. I told her that the way she ran off after lunch confused me was all. She said she was really okay. It burned how bad I wanted to say, "I still love you with all my heart". I managed to not do it. I tried to bring up a memory from our relationship. A good, happy one. She never answered though. I'm terrified she's out there right now with that other guy, confiding in him and replacing me. It makes me want to cry just typing it. She acts as though she doesn't want to talk with me and is very short unless we're at lunch or have some school related excuse for me to call her.
Do you think she will really consider my date offer? Am I hopeless? Does she really not love me anymore? I have so many questions. I need her back in my life. Even though I'm thinking rationally now I still know that she's what I want. Should I just tell her this, or will it push her further away? I want to bring her flowers when I see her at work next week. Is that too much? I just want to be able to make her day again. I'm an atheist and I found myself praying to God last night that she'd come back. I'd do anything to kiss her again. It's really hard.
That night I got really drunk and pissed her off with an assortment of calls and texts. The next day I couldn't even go to school because I couldn't bear to see her. The next Tuesday at school was rough because I have a class with her and we sit together at lunch. We went to the park together after school so I could talk to her. I begged some more and she even said she still loved me. She said she wanted some time for herself but I felt like she wasn't telling me everything. However I didn't pester her on the matter. That night I searched the net for help because I was constantly vomiting and couldn't sleep or eat. I realized that I need to stop telling her I'll change and show her instead. The next day I was cheerful and polite. I didn't talk about 'us' and tried to remind her why she loved me in the first place. It took a lot of strength to build up the confidence but it felt good. That night we called each other and talked again. I told her that the break up was a good thing after all and I felt stronger and had pride for the first time. I also told her that even though I was healing in small doses, I still missed her. She didn't comment but we worked on some homework together and then talked some more. After telling me she thought about painting me (shes a wonderful artist) and asking me to see her at work next week and eat dinner at the restaurant she works at I was beginning to feel good. I told her (in a very hitting on kind of way) that I'd let her use my likeness in a painting if she agreed to let me take her out next weekend. At first she asked very emotionally, "Why? Like a date?" I hesitated but, I dug down and told myself to say what my heart says. I said very firmly, "Yes, exactly, like a date.". At first she said no, that it was too soon after we broke up.
Instead of acting how I felt I said it was fine and okay. Then she said in a soft voice (the kind that reminds me of why I love her so much) that she would "think about it". I told her good and then we talked for another minute about small things and I told her that I had work to do so I had to go. I said if she wanted to talk she could text me and that I'd see her at school. She didn't text me that night and I didn't text her. I was so happy. I felt like she just told me in that little doubtful sentence that she still cared and was willing to try again after all. I was finally able to eat and slept great. Today I went to class on cloud 9. It was almost like I was never dumped. When Lunch came around, I eagerly waited for her to walk in. When she did she looked like she was having a bad time so I asked how she was holding up. She assured me she was fine and that she was just tired. Soon she began to perk up and joke with me and laugh with me and such. We even smiled at each other a lot. She began to talk about how bored she'd be after school, so I offered my company. She just said "no" and I didn't pursue any further. The rest of lunch she was reserved and didn't share herself with me like I wanted. I noticed that she's been texting this guy all week. It made me feel sick. I didn't ask her about it because I knew that, technically, it wasn't my business. Regardless it burned like hell. I even texted her friend and asked her how my ex was doing. I told her to please not tell that I asked as I was trying to give her the space she asked for. She never answered and that worried me.
I texted my ex after class and told her that I felt like she was in a bad mood and then told her to cheer up and have a good day. She said that she was fine. I told her that the way she ran off after lunch confused me was all. She said she was really okay. It burned how bad I wanted to say, "I still love you with all my heart". I managed to not do it. I tried to bring up a memory from our relationship. A good, happy one. She never answered though. I'm terrified she's out there right now with that other guy, confiding in him and replacing me. It makes me want to cry just typing it. She acts as though she doesn't want to talk with me and is very short unless we're at lunch or have some school related excuse for me to call her.
Do you think she will really consider my date offer? Am I hopeless? Does she really not love me anymore? I have so many questions. I need her back in my life. Even though I'm thinking rationally now I still know that she's what I want. Should I just tell her this, or will it push her further away? I want to bring her flowers when I see her at work next week. Is that too much? I just want to be able to make her day again. I'm an atheist and I found myself praying to God last night that she'd come back. I'd do anything to kiss her again. It's really hard.