I have been married for 42 years. And I'm sick of my husband, he complains every time I spend any money, he has had affairs on me for years, and I've stayed with him, and forgave him. But I spent some money for Christmas after I asked him. He told me no, so I took the money anyway! And he never lets me forget it.

I haven't mentioned to him one time about his affairs, but he throws money in my face all the time. I have bought furniture for this house myself, because he never wants to put any money out for anything around here. I am a diabetic, and I need medication, I can't get Medicare or any kind of medical help, until I'm 65. I don't know what to do, I'm just sick of him!

How about just telling him to shut up and give you the money ? Ok, how about marriage counseling to learn to communicate. Do you sit down together and pay bills. Assuming both work or have income has who and how bills are paid, been worked out that both agree on.

This is really hard to say but sometimes it is better to walk away. Now it is your peace of mind and your health that comes first. You have put up with allot, somestimes we as women can get more done alone than with our spouse. If you are sure you have given all that you can give and you have given a lifetime, then it is time to think of yourself.

Love takes a lot of work on both parts. 42 years is a long time to spend with one person and you should be applauded for your stamina. So far, we have heard your side of the story. What's his side? What is his reasoning for not giving you money when needed?

We need to get both sides of the story so we can understand this completely. I only say that because 42 years of marriage is a lot to throw away. No one wants to see that happen. Try to tactfully milk him for information so a clear picture can develop, then let us know what you find out.

If you are anything like the wife and I, then when one of us gets mad at the other, we rant, rave, vent, whoop, and holler, and when the dusts settles we talk, and I imagine you have your own ways to have your conflicts, and move beyond them. The dust will settle I think.

Now as to the cheating, is he still doing that? If I had cheated I know I would have hot grits up the arse, and the skillet upside my head. *


*Disclaimer, meant as humor (KIND OF), and should not be done at home!

I can feel your pain. I have been married for going on 42 years this coming October to a man who is becoming increasingly more withdrawn. We do have two grown children, and two grandchildren, and I am very thankful for this. I am wondering if you are a person of faith. I know that prayer has helped in my own situation a great deal and has given me ideas and options that help me continue to have peace of mind and spirit on a daily basis. I feel that God wouldn't want you to live in a terribly unhappy and unfulfilling situation and he may show you options where you can find peace and fulfillment without having to throw away all of your hard earned years together. I will pray for you, and I feel each day will improve and FYI, "Congratulations" on haning in there. The two of you have accomplished something wonderful, even if it doesn't always feel this way, you know.