PDA

View Full Version : Why did he suddenly decide he didn't want me?


Edinburghgal
Jan 9, 2012, 01:19 PM
Hi, I was dating a guy for 7 weeks and really liked him. He was very funny, smart and I thought he was very attractive and we had a lot of fun together, I don't play games and made it clear I liked him but not to the point of being too full on - he made it clear he liked me too - nice texts, spending lots of time with me, cooking me dinner and we shared a lot of things together. We'd both been hurt in the past by partners who had major personal problems and we had a lot in common. The sex was incredible and he couldn't seem to get enough of me, everything was going so well it was perfect.
Last Friday he texted me at lunchtime to say how much he was looking forward to our date that night, he couldn't wait to see me etc and kisses. Then that night half an hour before I was due to meet him for a date he called to say he didn't think it would work out between us because he'd been feeling for a while that he was still in love with his ex (who he broke up with a year ago). He told me I'm too nice for him and deserve someone better (does anyone seriously believe that will make you feel better when they've just dumped you?). I was totally taken by surprise, he had seemed to like me as much as I liked him and now I feel like a big fool. I didn't make a fuss, I just accepted that he feels that way but now I can't stop thinking about it - did I do something wrong? Shpuld I contact him? Why did he suddenly decide he didn't want me?

starry_eyes_69
Jan 9, 2012, 05:33 PM
Whatever you decide, in the meantime... try your very hardest NOT to contact him, delete his mobile number if necessary and don't dwell on the fantastic sex, it may very well be that it was this factor that held you together. He is perhaps frightened of the feelings he has developed for you, so give him and more importantly, YOURSELF, time to assess what it is YOU want, not from him in particular, but from a relationship in general. You speak of both having issues with 'being hurt in the past'... so maybe, subliminally, you are both putting up 'barriers'.
As I do not know this man personally, I cannot make assumptions on his character but I do know that men (not disrespectfully) run on different emotions from us women.
Keep yourself busy with whatever you can and distance yourself from mutual friends/acquaintences in the near future, these will bring good memories to the forefront of your mind and will disturb your emotions.
I wish you the very best of luck, whatever the outcome.
PS: I have, too, recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and upon typing these words, am going to take a few spoonfuls of my own 'medicine' :)