Why can't I be a fun, nice mom instead of blowing up all the time? I hate myself! I love my daughter so much and I don't want to hurt her but when she starts whining I LOSE it. I am also mean!

How old is your daughter? If you are mean to her you need to speak to a professional - being overwhelmed or overworked is one thing.

Being mean is another.

You need to seek help before someone steps in and you lose custody of your child.

Do you lose it with just her or with other people as well? Do certain situations set you off? How well do you handle other stressful situations?

As JudyKayTee suggested, seek help with your concerns. You are smart to recognize that you need assistance. Speak to your doctor if you have difficulty dealing with stress and consider parenting classes to gain some ideas on how to better deal with your daughter. It can help tremendously to become aware of what behaviours are normal, what you can expect from her, how to set clear and consistent expectations, how to ward off the whining much of the time in the first place, etc..

Do you have friends or family members who can help you out? You might even find a mommy and me type group helpful to give you a chance to spend time with other mothers and children.

Maybe you just need to go on a vacation and keep her with some family for a couple of days. That eay you'll be relaxed and when you get back find somethig both of you would enjoy. Sometimes bottling up yor feeling soft awhile makes you go off on one person all the time. Anger issues