Hello all! My girlfriend moved to NY to go to school about six years ago. She was young and dumb and accrued large amounts of credit card debt, school loans, doctor bills, etc. She owes about $12k in student loans (they've been defaulted for about 5 years) $3 - 5k in credit card debt and $3k in unpaid hospital bills. She has no money no property, etc, and works part time in a coffee shop. Now, of course, these things are coming back to haunt her. We're planning a future together, but I made it clear that these things would have to at least be set in motion before we get more serious. Where do we start? She doesn't even know what credit cards she had and what doctor bills she owes. We've contemplated bankruptcy, but don't even know where to begin w/ that. Any help and info would be greatly appreciated!

Hello all! My girlfriend moved to NY to go to school about six years ago. She was young and dumb and accrued large amounts of credit card debt, school loans, doctor bills, etc. She owes about $12k in student loans (they've been defaulted for about 5 years) $3 - 5k in credit card debt and $3k in unpaid hospital bills. She has no money no property, etc, and works part time in a coffee shop. Now, of course, these things are coming back to haunt her. We're planning a future together, but I made it clear that these things would have to at least be set in motion before we get more serious. Where do we start? She doesn't even know what credit cards she had and what doctor bills she owes. We've contemplated bankruptcy, but don't even know where to begin w/ that. Any help and info would be greatly appreciated!!
Hi blister,

You sound like you do like this girl a lot. I am in a similar situation, but its me that it is debt. My girlfriend and I tragically broke up and we both got into debt. I`m dealing with my debt myself and hope to have it half paid off my April this year and the rest by October, also this year. I do hope to get back together with her because we are so great together and have a lot in common. Anyway, lets deal with your problem. You do have some options which I will list as follows:

1. Help and arrange for her to get a type of loan where if possible to pay off the credit cards, loans and bills to make only 1 payment per month. Its called consolidating your debts.

2. Declare bankruptcy is a last resort really, its an easy way out, but it can effect your credit history for 5 + years. She probably won't be able to get a bank account, get a property, only rented property. It really effects your credit history.

3. You might want to consider helping her to pay it off yourself, depending on how strong a you feel for her or how you see the relationship developing.

4. Help her to get another form of employment. (This I do recommend!) Or can she do 2 jobs?

My advice is try options 1 and 4 first, if they don't work try option 3 and then if that doesn't work try option 2 which is your last resort.

I know the only way forward for you and your girlfriend is too clear your debts, that is why I am sorting my life out so as to save up enough to buy property.

I wish you all the best, and do let me know how you get on.

Run a credit report, it will list everyone who is reporting bad debts against her.

Bankruptcy will not normally get rid of student loans, so her actual personal debt of @ 8 K is not really uncontrollable.

On the student loan, she may want to look for a refiance, there are many companies who offer them at very good interest rates.

As for the cedit card debts, if they are very old, and you can and will help, and have money, many can be paid off for 20 to 30 percent of their value from many companies.

And then yes, a second job, working full time at least and putting most of the money on the debts.

Where to start?

1. stop all borrowing.

2. get on a written budget each month (this takes time so be patient). Make sure your income is greater than your outgo.

3. list assets, everything you own.

4. list liabilities. What you owe to others.

5. establish a debt repayment plan for each creditor

6. consider earning more money... extra jobs, overtime, selling stuff to pay the debt off.

7. do not give up. Getting on a budget and digging out of debt is hard work and it takes time, patience. You need to get "gazelle" intense. :)

You know I have re-read what you posted, that you will not get serious with this perosn until they start a plan to clear up their debt,

After serious thinking, this is a really uncaring thing to say, if you love someone, you love them regardless of the debt, regarless if you will spend the rest of you life with them in poverty, you love someone regardless. If you have conditions on your love, perhaps honestly this girl would be better off without you. I do hope you really didn't ot mean what you posted, but in general if you love the other perosn, after you get married, you help them get out of debt. But until them she gets on a budget plan and gets control of her situation