Is it right for my 4 year old son, to be sharing the same room as my x and his girlfreing. I told them both how I felt and they gone behind my back and do it anyway. Am I making something out of nothing please help?

Because he is only four, I don't see anything wrong with it. Maybe he is more secure in the night being close to his dad.

(if there weren't a 'girlfriend' in the picture, this probably wouldn't be a problem)

Have they tried to put him in his own bed? Is this a new situation for all of them?

Do they share the room because he is afraid, because they only have a one bedroom home? Does he have his own bed or cot ?

What is your concern about it ?

we broke up a few years back, and on saturdays my son stops at his dads over nigh,he told me that his new girlfreind would be stoping over and staying in the same room as him. I told him that I wasn't happy about it and thought it was wrong for our son to wake up to find his daddy in the same bed as he's new girlfreind. As our sons beds at the bottom of my x parters bed.our son is great on going to bed he has his own bedroom at my house and wouldn't dream of sharing with my son,and my parter. My x has got a spare bedroom n won't put my son in it when he says its 2 much hard work if he wakes up through the night and it too much hard work 2 sort the spare room out

Try negotiating.

Talk to your ex, and his g/f if possible, and suggest that you all come up with a plan of when it will be appropriate for your son to have his own bed.

Maybe start working on preparing your son, with them, by starting with the purchase of a bed (or new, special bedding) in six months. He will be old enough to realize that a BIG event will be happening. Make a big deal of it.

Negotiate the date- one that all the adults in his life agree upon. Then there are no surprises, other than your ex and his g/f have to be prepared to put him back into his own room a few times until he gets the hang of it.

The problem as I see it, is waiting too long. He will soon be big enough and smart enough to know he can (at least) try to scream, yell, kick up a fuss, etc. to get his own way.

This will be a big step for your son, and your ex as well. It will take everybody on the same page to make the transition to a 'big boy' bed.

If you can find a way to accomplish this impending change in your son's development, the much, much bigger ones down the road, will be much easier to handle.

I really see nothing wrong, you see no issue your child seeing you and your new boyfriend going to bed together, And there is no issue here,

You appear to be wanting to control what your ex does in his home, you have no control over that what so ever.
Please stop.

There is nothing wrong with bed sharing. Leave them alone. It is his child. And His choice.

If it was a matter of not having any room for him, I would not make an issue of it. But since he has the room, I think its wrong. Your son is still young enough for it not to be a major issue. But he is getting close to too old.

What you don't say whether this visitation is court ordered or not. If it isn't then I would tell him your son is getting too old to be in the same room. And if he doesn't prepare the spare room for him or have his girlfriend use the spare room when your son is there, then you will not allow visits.

If the visitation IS court ordered, then I would go back to court and ask that visitation be suspended util he prepares the spare room.