Hi,

I'm 38 year old woman and I am dating a new guy for about 5 months. He's nice, gentle, kind, generous. I'm not attracted. He has an extra amount of weight and it turns me off. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm not perfect, why am I being so shallow. Also, his sense of humor is not good. It irks me and I have to consciously force myself not to roll my eyes. I think he realized my lack of attraction because he's not able to have sex with me. We did it successfully twice, but now he says I make him nervous. I tried to be more playful and get him in the mood, but it wouldn't work. The thing is, I don't blame him. I think I should just go. I feel sad because some things were right. He's a great person. He spent a small fortune on my Christmas gift (I spent what I could, but couldn't match anywhere near what he spent on me.) Now just a week later, we're almost over. I feel like a horse's ***. What should I do? Should I just keep going? Could it get better?

I think you should just be honest with yourself and him. I know that breaking up isn't an easy thing and you will probably feel guilty for doing so. In the long run, both of you will be better off if you end it now.

Sexual attraction is necessary, but by no means sufficient, for a relationship. As far as not liking his sense of humor, I think a lot of times we're willing to tolerate more if we're more attracted to the person. If you're not attracted to him, it will just make you miserable, and that will make him miserable. We can't live our lives like the person we wish we were, but as the person we are. I guess the big question to ask is how far gone is he? Would getting him to exercise more be enough? You could exercise together. If that's just not an option, you should be honest with him and yourself.