All right, my names Jay and I'm 18. I live in NSW Australia and I've come here because I got recommended by a mate that this is a good site for help with almost anything.

Over my years as a teenager I'll admit I've had sex with a few people. My ex-gf for a few years. My other ex three times and a close friend a few weeks ago.

Now, the thing I'm wanting help with is I don't understand why I *** so fast sometimes, and other times not.

Example, when I masturbate without porn it takes me between 5 to 15 minutes to ***. But with porn it can take less than a minute. I think it's my state of mind and it's very annoying. But when I go to have sex with a girl I put on a condom (of course), and put my penis in and between 20 seconds to a minute later I feel like ******* usually, if I hold it for a few seconds I can continue for another 5-10 minutes. But with my 2 year girlfriend, sometimes I would put it in (without a condom sometimes, she was on the pill) and we would go for a very long time, my record is 40ish minutes.

Now I don't understand why sometimes I really don't *** quickly and other times I *** very quickly. I've googled it and the only home technique I've found to help with is when I masturbate, get close to ******* 3 times in a row but stop right before I ***, then on the fourth time allow myself to finish. I'm not sure if this is helping at the moment because I've not had sex since I've started doing this.

I really don't understand, sometimes I am premature, other times I am really not, and it's annoying me a lot, as you can imagine or some of you possibly know, ******* early is freaking annoying, I mean, I can hold it and keep going but it doesn't feel NEARLY as good and it feels sort of wet inside the condom afterwards (yes, a little bit of *** comes out but not a lot like if I actually came.) On top of all this, I'd just like to be able to feel confident having sex without worrying about maybe masturbating before the girl comes over or anything like that, you know?

PS: I have read that if you masturbate a lot you can make your penis more sensitive. Is this true?

Also, I am not circumcised and my penis is quite large (not boasting but I have thought that maybe I *** earlier during actual sex because it is rubbing a lot harder on the sides of the vagina.)

Oh and I last for any (5-10 minutes ) amount of time during handjobs, oral etc, but sex is the thing that really gets me.

Oh, and if I have a lot of foreplay before sex sometimes I go for a lot longer and sometimes it makes me really sensitive, so you can understand why this is frustrating me a lot, I really have no idea what my penis is going to do in these sexual situations.

I don't know if this also helps, but during a 69 when I receive oral and I am giving oral at the same time I can *** a lot faster than if I was just receiving because of how aroused giving oral makes me.

Somebody please give me some help or advice. It truly means a lot.

-Thanks so much, Jay.

I am not a man, and I hope you can get a mans perspective on this, but from what I understand in my limited female understanding (lol) is that this is quite normal for boys and men until they get older. There are many tricks to keep it from happening, such as desensitizing creams, a ring (placed around the base of the penis and ball sack) thinking about something else, using pain to derail the pleasure (unless you happen to be one who gets pleasure FROM pain instead)

I hope a male poster can come and help you understand this better :) good luck!

OH and actually, I'm not sure how it is for boys, but for girls, masturbating a LOT actually makes us LESS sensitive over time.

Masturbating will make you LESS sensitive, and can actually cause problems down the line if you do it TOO much (making you too used to yourself makes it impossible for other stimuli to make you orgasm).

It sounds to me like it's all mental with you. It's completely your state of mind and how excited you are MENTALLY that is affecting your ejaculation time. Masturbation BEFORE spending time with a girl is a good idea.

I do want to point out that unless you want to be a parent, use a condom EVERY time. I got pregnant using a condom, a spermicide and was on the pill. And yes, I was using all three forms correctly. Using a condom should also make you less sensitive so SHOULD prolong your sex time. However, I think that since this is mostly mental for you that you just need to work on mentally backing down from the moment and "think unsexy thoughts" to back down from orgasm.

These are all great answers, thanks you two. I read somewhere masturbating too much can make you more sensitive so I'm not sure about that. But it is fairly annoying.