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View Full Version : I'm 18 and I don't like how I am treated at home, is moving out a good idea?


jenelle21
Dec 27, 2011, 11:37 PM
I turned 18 this past July. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and I spend a great amount of time at his house for the simple facct that I don't get along with my dad very well. The only reason I do come home is to see my mom and to spend time with her, but even still my dad has to get all of her attention. He has physically abused me twice, and that is part of the reason we don't get along but I just don't agree with his opinions or how he treats people. At my boyfriends house it is just him and his dad, his mom passed away from cancer when he was 7. I get along with his dad and he has already said that I would just have to keep the house clean and wouldn't have to pay rent or bills or anything. I am a full time student and I have a part time job. The only thing holding me back is that I love my mom so much, she is probably my best friend, and as I am writing this I'm crying because I hate to throw this on her :'( I fear that if I do leave, my mom and dad will fight and I can't be sure if he will hit her or not. Another thing that makes me want to leave is the fact that my younger brother is treated 100% better than I am. I have no idea if this is tme being jealous or if my parents have a favorite and its clearly not me. He is smart(always gets A's and B's), talented(plays the drums, bass guitar, and an amazing artist) and he's very funny. I have always struggled in these areas. In fact, just today he kicked the front door open and broke it because he was angry that my dog got out. The door doesn't close now and my parents just laughed at it. There are many more examples of me being treated unfairly, too many to list. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I just don't want ot feel so terrible about moving out :/

ilovemusic8
Dec 28, 2011, 12:19 AM
Hmmmmm... OK I am not an expert, but I can tell you one thing that has happened to me and the lesson I learned from it! So I will tell you a little about me, I am also 18 years old, and also had a brother who waas great at everything... I had 2 but one was the main focus he was 15 at that time and the other one was the last one. I only lived with my mother thou, and it wasn't all that great because I wasn't raised with her, I was raised by my aunts, and uncles... Anyway, I moved out because she was unfair to me, how? Well I had to cook, clean the house, help my little brother out with HW and on the weekends had to wake up early to do breakfast for them or else she would get mad and cursed, you know that wasn't bad for me I could do it, but when you have someone cursing at you all the time, and telling you to do it again because they didn't like the way you cleaned! OK anyway, I wanted to stay after school I couldn't, I have always been in the honor role since freshman year and ever since I could remember! I wasn't allowed ever to go out, and had to get home exactly at 4 oclock since my school was 1 hour away I got out at 3pm and yeah... Ok many more things, got hit for no reason, just because I told her I had a volleyball game I had to go, it wasn't easy with her at all... aaah yes with the volleyball I lied that I had to do it, or else no college would accept me(kinda true) anyway, went for 2 months, she got tired and hit me because I wasn't home for my brothers birth day! I did call her to make sure it wasn't that same day she was going to celebrate" she said " yes, you go on stay, we will do it tomorrow(meaning sat.) OK came home already cut the cake, and was so mad at me, people were there, next day she started hitting me because I didn't cook) I moved out for that and many many more reasons, its been 8 years of living with her I had it so I moved out at 17 (junior year) I don't regret it. I moved to my sisters, met a guy went out for 1year 2 months, guess what I moved out again because I wanted to go out, my sister was very nice but I was stupid! OK I moved near his house, guess what ended up moving here at my sisters again! Ok about you moving with him NO GOOD, have you thought of him or you getting tired to see each other all the time? Do you think your dad will stay calmed knowing your at his house? And st some point if you depend on them, for them to pay the bill or rent of whatever, psst at some point trust me they will take advantage( no they are not like that etc etc. I know because that's what I thought) there is a price you must pay.

ilovemusic8
Dec 28, 2011, 12:35 AM
Look all I'm saying, and is if you ever do go out move out on your own! Work and don't waste it unless you have to! Being dependent on someone that's not your family blood its no good, I'm pretty sure you have heard of people rushing into relationships and how does it end? Breaking up, when you first move in it feels great they treat you nice, time goes by things start to get heavy and gosh please excuse me a baby in between? Think it thoroughly, when you are bf/gf its so diff, because once you live together, your going to see what things happen! Bills, food, etc! Its not a good idea, now if you were to have family help you out perfect, aunt or uncle! Don't go live with your boyfriend, it's a bad idea, remember this for everything that is handed to you easily, that doesn't come from family, there is always a high price to pay! I'm sure he may be nice, but you don't really know a person once you have lived with them! Girl your only 18, now if you were married than I see no bad! But girl it's a relationship not a marriage! Bf'gf it's nice, after that you see him everyday it gets boring, the emotion is when you haven't seen them that keeps love alive, when you think about seeing him again, once you are with them all the time, it just sometimes you stop caring about how you dress him/you! I'm letting you know this because I've been through it, if you want to try it out just make sure you don't end up getting hurt. Your family is your family, work and work so you move out, because trust me the world out there is not what you think it is