When I was younger I met a friend of the families. We were pretty close whenever they would come visit us. They were from another state so we didn't see them often. When they would come around we were like best friends. He gave me my first kiss and we experienced a little together. We now consider each other family. Then me and my mother and brother and sisters moved to another city upstate and hadn't seen them for six years.

Recently, I moved back to the city and saw this guy again. I had been upset one day and text him telling him I loved him but then I realized I never meant it and then after he said it was all right and he asked why would I tell him that we're like family and I told him it didn't matter to me. We don't even talk about that anymore. Him and his sister recently visited me and I felt butterflies for him. I know he has a girlfriend and lives in another city but I'm wondering am I holding on to something that will never happen. I mean the kiss was like eight years ago and I've never stopped liking him.

About two years before I moved back home I talked to him on Facebook on occasion. I'm not sure if he ever told his brother about the situation that happened between me and him but in a way I think he knows. His brother was also here that day they visited recently and he was mentioning something about the boy's girlfriend and future with her and the guy just kept telling him to be quiet and stuff as if he didn't want him to bring it up and then I caught him watching me a good bit and when we hugged I felt something that I'm not so sure if he felt it or not either.

I'm confused. Have I just been holding on for nothing? I mean he remembers what happened between us. We talked about it before. It's just weird being around him again. We were young then and had no clue but over the last few years it has affected me. I have been in a relationship before but I still had feelings for this guy. I had also had a few crushes but still had feelings for this guy. I don't want him to think it's weird because we are family only by marriage not by blood and we are about the same age also. I just need to know that everything will be all right and I don't know if I should mention anything to him about it. I felt bad because he was talking to me trying to give me his new number and I blew it off.

I think you are allowing your feelings to dwell too much on this, and make an innocent attraction way more than it is. Seems the contact triggers these feelings, I really don't know, but you clearly have some vivid memories, and maybe unrealistic hopes to contend with.

I think though that as you get more involved with other things, new memories and feelings will shove the old ones back a bit, and make them less troubling/annoying/ or time consuming.

LOL, we all go through that period where feelings are intense and confusing, and you don't quite know how to deal with them. But your experience in this area will grow.

You haven't seen him for 6 years, then texted him that you love him?

Then never meant it? Do I have that right?

Your first kiss? Awww.
That's cute.
What have you been doing for the past 6 years?

This just because you are living there again & saw him.

Do your own thing, don't worry about him or the past. This is forward, not backward.
There will will be way better experiences to come. If you let yourself grow.

Just a hiccup. I have them everyday.

Well the thing is we tlkd a little before I got down here and seeing him made me realize I have them feelings. He remembers little things that even I don't. I have dated someone else but that wasvfor three years. Ive often thouht about this boy and now I wonderr if he could feel the dame. After telling him I loved him it didn't change anything the next time I saw him. I think I did mean it. Well I know I did but I coildnt let him know that. I was too afraid the feelings mighy change

You don't have to act on your feelings just because you have them. Sometimes its best not to. Some of our feelings are NOT to be shared.