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View Full Version : Still Thinking About My First Love...


KDrea005
Dec 23, 2011, 07:19 PM
So, my first love, and I dated in high school. We were 16 years old, and she was who I came out with. We broke up after we graduated high school (we graduated in 2006). She started dating another girl not even a month after we broke up, yet she still contacted me, and said she still loved me, and wanted to be with me, but wanted to get her partying out of the way before we got back together. Being naïve, I told her I'd wait for her, but as time went by we eventually moved on.

She got married in 08, and I dated around until I met my current girlfriend in 09. We've been together now for 2 1/2 years, BUT my first love got back in contact with me in January of 2010. She sent me a request on Facebook so I accepted her as a friend. She messaged me almost every day, and I'd talk to her. Sometimes she'd bring up old songs from the past, and how in love we were, and I'd laugh it off, and tell her we were kids, and we are now in relationships.

One night, I accidentally stayed logged into my Facebook, and went to work. My ex messaged me, and my current girlfriend ended up talking to her. According to my girlfriend, my ex was telling her how much I loved her (my current girlfriend) and how I'd never do anything to hurt her. After that my ex deleted me, and I didn't talk to her again until April of this last year. She requested me again on Facebook and I accepted her once again. However this time we didn't talk or anything. My current girlfriend, and I, had moved in our own apartment together, and one of mine, and my ex's mutual friends, called me one day, and told me that some one wanted to talk to me. She paused for a minute and I heard my ex's voice. My heart pretty much sank, and a big smile spread across my face. I know it sounds so bad, but my current girlfriend, and I, just so happened to be having a party at our house and we invited them to come... and THEY DID!

It was very awkward and I could feel my heart beating like I was still 16. They didn't stay too long, and after that night I haven't spoke to my ex. However not a day has gone by that I don't think about her. I ask myself if I'd ever get back with her, and I always answer back "no", I love my current girlfriend very much, but there's still so many questions I want to ask my ex. I feel like I'm never going to free my mind from thinking about her until I ask these questions that have been on my mind since we broke up 6 years ago.

So my question is... what do you all think I should do?

Ask my questions... or just leave it alone?

Fr_Chuck
Dec 23, 2011, 07:58 PM
You let it be a wonderful memory, after over 40 years I still have great times, her wonderful smile and our first kiss.
Could you ever go back, no, You leave it at a memory.
Now you don't need to think about her every day, remember her is you hear a favorite song, or in a nice memory, but if you are staying on the thought too much after this time, perhaps counseling since you have not allowed yourself to move on properly.

talaniman
Dec 23, 2011, 09:19 PM
LOL, I have the same problem. Many memories and questions of what if.

Its okay to have those old thoughts, memories, and feelings, but never act on them, and in time they won't haunt you every day, just every now and then, LOL.

Don't be curious or tempted to look back to long though, it will just distract you from the important things in your life NOW!

amicon
Dec 24, 2011, 12:47 AM
Let the memories stay memories;trying to revisit the past is most often a bad idea.

We all have these memories but there is no need to act on them.

Be happy in the here and now.

vanheart
Dec 24, 2011, 10:17 PM
We all do you what you are doing. Its human. Fondness.
I trip on that all the time. Our mind.

I try not to let it take up too much of my time, though. Seconds, if possible.

Dwelling can make you crazy.

You are who you are. Learn from your past & move on.

Enjoy the moments now. That's what matters.