Charlotte2012
Dec 22, 2011, 12:56 AM
My Boyfriend of 5 years has completely lost interest in sexual activities of any kind with the exception of a bit of oral here and there, and usually when HE wants to, and only then.
Day to day trying to get his attention has become harder and harder, though he doesn't seem to think there is any issue. If I try to talk to him whilst he's on msn or Facebook or other chat sites talking to his friends, I am met with a silence, and after I push to get a response, all he does is get moody.
I've tried talking to him about it, and I get nowhere, apparently it's all in MY head and I'm making stuff that isn't 'there' be there. I asked him outright a while back if was even still in love with me, ad he said yes, of course he was, actually seemed a bit shocked that I had asked, but then things carried on as "normal"
We rarely do things together, time and money both being an issue usually, but then when I am at work, he will happily go out and spend money he says we don't have shopping in town, or meeting friends for coffee/lunch in town, or even going out for a few drinks at night with friends, including buying alcohol we 'apparently" cannot afford at home to drink with each other in front of a good movie or something.
So not only is there a total lack of sexual anything, but I am also starting to get a bit of an exclusionistic (is that even a word) thought trail in my own head.
If we cannot afford to do these things together, how do we afford to do them when I can't be there if I am working?
I talked to a mutual friend abotu this a while back and he said to raise all the issues and bring it to the forefront, so I did, and then got told off for talking to a friend about it, instead of going to him. Trying to explain that for 8 months I had tried to peel him off the computer to talk to him had no effect either.
I love him a lot, I always have, but what do I do? I honestly cannot carry on like this, I'm feeling excluded, run down, physically and mentally drained, unloved, unpretty and generally confused.
There is also a lot of "MY" when he should be saying "OURS" too...
Any suggestions please ? Anyone going through or been through the same? Like I said, I love this guy to bits, but I'm just not sure what the point is anymore :(
Charlotte
Day to day trying to get his attention has become harder and harder, though he doesn't seem to think there is any issue. If I try to talk to him whilst he's on msn or Facebook or other chat sites talking to his friends, I am met with a silence, and after I push to get a response, all he does is get moody.
I've tried talking to him about it, and I get nowhere, apparently it's all in MY head and I'm making stuff that isn't 'there' be there. I asked him outright a while back if was even still in love with me, ad he said yes, of course he was, actually seemed a bit shocked that I had asked, but then things carried on as "normal"
We rarely do things together, time and money both being an issue usually, but then when I am at work, he will happily go out and spend money he says we don't have shopping in town, or meeting friends for coffee/lunch in town, or even going out for a few drinks at night with friends, including buying alcohol we 'apparently" cannot afford at home to drink with each other in front of a good movie or something.
So not only is there a total lack of sexual anything, but I am also starting to get a bit of an exclusionistic (is that even a word) thought trail in my own head.
If we cannot afford to do these things together, how do we afford to do them when I can't be there if I am working?
I talked to a mutual friend abotu this a while back and he said to raise all the issues and bring it to the forefront, so I did, and then got told off for talking to a friend about it, instead of going to him. Trying to explain that for 8 months I had tried to peel him off the computer to talk to him had no effect either.
I love him a lot, I always have, but what do I do? I honestly cannot carry on like this, I'm feeling excluded, run down, physically and mentally drained, unloved, unpretty and generally confused.
There is also a lot of "MY" when he should be saying "OURS" too...
Any suggestions please ? Anyone going through or been through the same? Like I said, I love this guy to bits, but I'm just not sure what the point is anymore :(
Charlotte