slavenas
Dec 21, 2011, 11:05 PM
I'm 24, a big girl, and to be totally honest I have depression, a form of ocd like perfectionist-ism, panic attacks, and social anxiety. I like to play video games, but I'm also a college student atm two quarters away from my associates, going for my bachelors, then maybe law school. I've never really been in a relationship for longer then a month or two until now, this is my fifth relationship ever, so far its lasted a year. I was a virgin until three years ago, so I am not all that experienced sex wise, and I am still in that phase were its exciting and new. My boyfriend, I'll call him "D", is two years older then me, he's a gamer, and the best man I've ever dated.
He plays video games of one form or another just about 24/7 when he's not at work, he's add so they really keep his attention well, and I try to respect his privacy and not bother him too much about it. It's gotten to the point that we have sex maybe every three or four days, and sometimes not even then, unless I say something, and to be honest I have a huge sex drive due to my condition that makes my hormones out of wack all the time so its killing me. When I mentioned that I was starting to feel unwanted and unappreciated, maybe a little ugly, he just kind of blew me off. Saying that we don't have to have sex often, because he loves me even without it is a good thing, but the fact that he gets me horny on purpose then won't touch me kills me. I can literally walk around the house naked and nothing would happen, he just focuses on his game and doesn't even spare me a glance, and it hurts. Just as the fact that I am very insecure about myself, and he has a bad habit of letting mean comments slip seemingly not realising how bad they hurt me, does too.
A few months back before we moved in together we were fighting a lot because he never really had any time for me, I couldn't get him to go out to eat, watch movies, or even touch me most days. Finally I just laid it to him and told him that I respected the fact that he was burned out, we had been having sex a lot, and that if we could compromise, going out at least once a week or spending time together with no video games, we would be OK. Things got better for a while.
We moved in together and slowely things have gone back to how they were before, and I am convinced its spiking my depression into a comeback, everyday I feel a little bit worse and a bit more unconfident about myself. I truly care for him, and could even see myself marrying him one day, but I'm really torn on what to do.
He plays video games of one form or another just about 24/7 when he's not at work, he's add so they really keep his attention well, and I try to respect his privacy and not bother him too much about it. It's gotten to the point that we have sex maybe every three or four days, and sometimes not even then, unless I say something, and to be honest I have a huge sex drive due to my condition that makes my hormones out of wack all the time so its killing me. When I mentioned that I was starting to feel unwanted and unappreciated, maybe a little ugly, he just kind of blew me off. Saying that we don't have to have sex often, because he loves me even without it is a good thing, but the fact that he gets me horny on purpose then won't touch me kills me. I can literally walk around the house naked and nothing would happen, he just focuses on his game and doesn't even spare me a glance, and it hurts. Just as the fact that I am very insecure about myself, and he has a bad habit of letting mean comments slip seemingly not realising how bad they hurt me, does too.
A few months back before we moved in together we were fighting a lot because he never really had any time for me, I couldn't get him to go out to eat, watch movies, or even touch me most days. Finally I just laid it to him and told him that I respected the fact that he was burned out, we had been having sex a lot, and that if we could compromise, going out at least once a week or spending time together with no video games, we would be OK. Things got better for a while.
We moved in together and slowely things have gone back to how they were before, and I am convinced its spiking my depression into a comeback, everyday I feel a little bit worse and a bit more unconfident about myself. I truly care for him, and could even see myself marrying him one day, but I'm really torn on what to do.