PDA

View Full Version : My girlfriend wants to be single but keep me as a friend.


binglebangle37
Dec 20, 2011, 01:51 AM
Me and my girlfriend began our relationship as long distance. I'm 19 and she is 20. I have known her for 6 years and started the relationship 2 years ago. She came and visited me couple times in a year. Our relationship got closer and closer so we decide to get a place together. We were doing good till a couple months after. We started to fight about stupid petty stuff and she would hold a grudge and count how many times we would argue. To me these arguments were not relationship threating.

When I go to work she would stay at home and sometimes hang out with her friend. The relationship was fantastic besides the little petty fights which were not all the time, but to her it was. Money wasn't an issue. Last week she started acting weird. She asked me questions like so what happens to the dog if something bad happens. We got into an argument. Then we were fighting more every day before I go to work.

Last week she moved back to California. The thing was she told me she is moving back to her moms because she thinks we argued too much. I told her why don't we try working on the way we talk to each other. When her mind is set there is no changing. Well she left the house gave me a kiss and told me she loves me and went back to her home town.

Once she got there she totally ignored my calls and text. Once she got a hold of me she told me she thinks she wants to be single for a while and wants times to herself because she feels like were moving to fast. Which I don't see the wrong in that. She told me to give me space but she also said she loves me more then any man in his world. For some reason I couldn't help to text her at nights when I needed her most and tell her how much I love her. I was hurt because the way she left like she was good. I got a hold of her a couple days ago and she said she was starting to talk to her ex again. And that I need to give her time and that she doesn't want to a relationship but still wants to be my friend. She declares she isn't going get with him because she wants to be single but it sounds weird. She told me that just because we don't have a relationship now doesn't mean we are done for good.

I just don't understand she made me feel so special and I love her so dearly. I told her I'll be her friend but I don't want to see her with anyone else because it would hurt me so greatly. I don't want to see her with another man because that's like letting the woman I love so much go with someone who isn't me. I want to be with her and work things out. The thing is I don't want any other girl and I don't want to move on. I gave her up and told her I'm giving up. But not an hour later my heart tells me keep fighting for her. We truly shares something special and I know its young love but I don't want to give her up for nothing. She is my world

vanheart
Dec 20, 2011, 04:24 PM
I was in a very similar situation.

The thing about LDs, is that its never really real.

Its great when you are together (2X a year?) That isn't enough.

The rest of the time its pressure & frustration. At least for you.

She's not your world. The world is WAY bigger.

I would stop fantasizing, and do what you were doing before.

Whattya want? A pen pal or a girlfriend?

binglebangle37
Dec 20, 2011, 07:21 PM
Well I'm not going to give up

vanheart
Dec 21, 2011, 01:16 AM
Good for you!

talaniman
Dec 21, 2011, 04:47 PM
Well I'm not going to give up

Yes you will, when you find out she is having a great time without you, and all you have is the dog! You do have the dog don't you?

vanheart
Dec 22, 2011, 11:52 PM
What I meant was not giving up on yourself. Don't misunderstand.
Because you didn't seem like you wanted to listen to reason.

I was being funny, cynical, tired. Sorry.
Only because Ive been there.

She ignores your calls, wants to be single. She talking to her ex, etc...

What more do you need to know?

You can try until the cows come home, but at some point, you have to know that she doesn't want a relationship with you.

Sorry. She never did.

Its was just you. So it goes.

What's next for you? Another long distance one?