My father had left my mother and I when I was about three years old, he had a previous wife and daughter, but he had divorced the wife. After he left, he cheated on my mother. (They were still married.) He came back occasionally to see me and we talked on the phone, he lived with another girl at that time too, and I'd go and visit them. He later came back to stay, but most likely for financial reasons, and to help my mother with her sickness.They always fought though, and still do. But now my father is really sick (practically lying on his death bed) and we have to take care of him, clean him help him with everything and I know it's stressful for my mother, it"s stressful for me too. But today I found out through my mothers text that she's been cheating on my father, as well. Ex texts; I want to f*** you, let's wrestle naked, lets hangout I just need an excuse to tell my family, etc. And the other weekend, she supposedly worked on the weekend, and "she was the only one in her office" She doesn't know I know. It's tearing me apart because I don't know what to do and I thought I can trust her, and she doesn't seem to care about my father. I just don't know what to do. Any ideas?

Lets Be Lovely,
Firstly, welcome to this great site!

Do not try to poke your nose in their affairs, dear. Just think about you and your life. They must be having their own justifications and reasons. They have their life, you have yours.

SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIM?
I don't think you have even the most basic understanding of their lives and their complicated relationship. Maybe you are too young, but your writing is articulate and I think you should be able to understand.
She is taking care of the man who cheated on her throughout their marriage, LEFT her when you were a toddler! What more does she need to do to 'prove' she cares?? He took care of her when she was sick, now she's taking care of him. Leave SEX and anything she does on her moments away from the house out of this. For all you know that's how she is able to tend to him. We all have our secrets and you can't just slap a 'not to be trusted' label on someone.

These are two people who have had their problems but are decent enough to be there for each other when they are sick and in this case dying. Someday you will realize that the spectrum of love is so wide as to be almost infinite.

SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIM?
She is taking care of the man who cheated on her throughout their marriage, LEFT her when you were a toddler! What more does she need to do to 'prove' she cares???
I absolutely agree with you, on this point. What more does she need to prove?


He took care of her when she was sick, now she's taking care of him......................We all have our secrets and you can't just slap a 'not to be trusted' label on someone.
O my God! What a way of saying! So nice!!


These are two people who have had their problems but are decent enough to be there for each other when they are sick and in this case dying. Someday you will realize that the spectrum of love is so wide as to be almost infinite.

Sure, after all, experience is something... but Joy Pulv, your wording is so poetic when you say the spectrum of love is so wide as to be almost infinite. You have hit the nail, on the head! Three cheers!

Joy said it all - and I question how the OP gained access to her mother's text messages if she wasn't snooping.

I don't see this being any of OP's business.