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Friedchicken9
Dec 17, 2011, 07:23 AM
I feel pathetic. I really do.

Every question that I have posted on this great site has all been about this one girl that I dated for a few weeks a few months ago.

It is just that I have never dated a girl that was so downright abusive to me. It started great despite the warning that she gave me that she had emotional baggage and trust issues. Then a week later she becomes vain and mean towards me. She would say that I was ugly while boosting that she was beautiful. She would tell me that she was flirting with men. She would tell me that she was dancing and giving men her number. My hobby is acting and all I heard was, "Your headshots are ugly or you suck." I didn't understand why because I treated with respect and tried hard to make it work. I just don't know how a person who supposedly cared about you would treat you like this... I kept thinking that I wasn't good enough throughout my experience dating her. I ended it quick. Even though she lingered on, I even stopped that... And ended all communication with her.

I did everything possible to remove her away from me but still the pain still lingers on. It has been 5 months... And I still think I am not good enough. My confidence has been shot. When I act, I think about her words that I suck. Even though I don't think I am bad-looking, I think about her words when I am brushing my teeth looking at the mirror. I feel like I can't get anyone anymore because I got to compare them to her. Nothing I do is good enough anymore to me. I almost have this impossible standard to reach. I am backpacking in a different continent for six months (3 more to go!)... I can't seem to fully enjoy it because I keep thinking how I could 1 up her... Or thinking about how maybe the man she might be dating with is ten times better than me or thinking maybe she treated me this badly because I was really not good enough for her or thinking about the things she may tell people.

This is just ridiculous on my part. I am an actor. You would think that rejection would be natural to me. But, I guess I open myself up too fast to people. That is where I can get hurt. I am afraid. First, that I would never get over this: this unhealthy level of achieving perfection and nick-picking everything that is wrong with me. This constant thought that I have to 1 up her. Secondly, I am afraid that I may never be my caring self to someone else I care about because I may be too scared to open myself up again. I try to be a nice and caring guy to the girls that I like but I don't want to ever feel like this ever again. And, I am scared. Really scared that this may happen again.

I don't know what to do... Should I seek help? Holy hell. What did I get myself into? This is why good guys become son of *****es. I understand now.

Anonomyous
Dec 18, 2011, 04:27 PM
It doesn't matter what people think of you. It only matters of how you think of yourself. I'm sure you're a really nice guy and that's not pathetic at all. It's just that you're a little insecure. There's nothing wron with it. You just need to build yourself confidence. If that girl is still bothering you block her number man! And she is the pathetic one. My guess is that something is rong in her lifeso she's taking it out on you. Don't take it personally. Just let roll of your back

tommynmisie
Jan 3, 2012, 07:51 AM
Are you still following this thread Friedchicken? Read the whole thing before you come to any conclusions. Everyone has a bad day, everyone. Just because you are the one that got dumped on doesn't mean you are the cause or that anything is wrong with you. You just happened to be there. Also, when people need to feel better about themselves, the only way some know how to do this is to put someone else down and that is usually the most understanding/sensitive person they know. This is because they know this person will not fight back. Apparently she has some self worth issues and the only way she could deal with it was to make you feel as ugly as she felt about herself. Life is too short and too valuable to keep from being who you really are. Remember, she makes you feel that way because you allow her to.
-M.

kjoy82
Jan 8, 2012, 04:33 AM
Good Morning... When I came across your question I had to reread it a couple of times...
I have been there and done that.
Let that girl go... no Contact!
There is something seriously going on mentally with her...
You can not change that sweetie...
And remember thus...
That person that she is or will be with, will only receive the same treatment that she gave to you!! What you experienced with her is all you are going to get...
People do not change!!

So get her totally out of your life and do not look back... you deserve better...