Hi guys,

I'm not new, I just wanted a fresh start on here as you can't delete questions asked as some of them rather embarrass me!

I'll make this succinct as possible though it's pretty complicated

My best friend ( or she was at the time) had a boyfriend and became close to a guy we both knew, I let her know it was inappropriate for her to be hanging round with him as she admitted a crush on him, and him one on her. However, after some time she decided she didn't have feelings for him and was willing to stop seeing him to concentrate on her relationship.

Some time after this, myself, my friend and the new guy all went on a night out, he walked us home as we live close together, she went to her house and he walked me to mine, because of the lateness and the weather he stayed the night. We didn't sleep together but other things happened.

Rightly or wrongly we decided that even though she had a boyfriend and said she didn't have feelings for him, we didn't want to tell her about it. Three days later my friend then cheated on her boyfriend with this guy, and then broke up with her boyfriend for unrelated issues. The new guy asked me to still not tell her about us and promised me multiple times nothing was going to happen between the two of them ever again so I needn't feel like I was betraying her trust.

A couple of weeks later I find out they were seeing each other in secret the whole time, so I confront the guy and he informs me he doesn't care what I think. I then tell him I was going to tell her but he got in there first. Following from this my friend completely fell out with me and wouldn't even let me explain anything and carried on seeing him.

She later apologised for this and though I decided to be friendly, I didn't want her close again although she wanted to go back to being the best of friends, as I was still angry at how she treated me,(relaying the guy's twisted version of the story to people so they'd take her side etc, I know, playground antics) however this guy really upset her by being inappropriate with an ex some time after and she said she cut things off with him because of this. I was there as a shoulder to cry on and thought with him out of the way we could get back on track as friends.

However, she has now began seeing him again. Now for some reason I can't quite put my finger on I feel so angry about it, part of it must be I hate to admit because I still have feelings for him so I must be jealous. My question is, is her conduct sufficiently poor for me to distance myself for her, or am I being irrational and selfish and should I man up and stand by my friend?

Thoughts please.

You participated in all of this.

What's the question again?

You wanted this guy & helped your "friend" with a boyfriend, get with him?
Let her use you as a diversion while she cheated. Nice one.

Now you are jealous?

Hell. Get you head checked.

I didn't help her get with him in the slightest, I had no idea anything was going on between them as I was expressly told on multiple occasions otherwise, and when I thought something might develop between them when she still had a boyfriend, I dissuaded her from it. My jealousy is not from wanting him, he is a spineless coward, it is because I can not help having feelings for him and he is with my friend. Either you have the situation entirely confused or you're the one that needs your head checked thinking that the above is any kind of helpful advice.

This fellow is no friend, he is playing you both. You have caught on to him, she hasn't. You tried to warn her, and she got hurt, so you tried being a friend, and she went back to him.

Let her find out yet again that he is no good, and when she gets hurt again, be a friend again. Otherwise leave her alone.

Yes, he was the player and the only real thing you did was to keep it all a secret, A secret in cheating makes you part of the cheat.