My boyfriend and I have been friends for six years and then we entered a relationship. We have been together for 9 months now and out of the nine months he has only initiated sex maybe once or twice. Often times he flat out tells me no we are not doing "it". I feel rejected of course but I have to pretend that my feelings aren't hurt. He takes care of me with gifts and material things but I don't want that, I crave affection and to know he actually desires to have me. I am content, but not happy with this part of our relationship. I have talked to him so many times but now it has caused me to shut down emotionally with him.

So, do the obvious... find someone new you are actually compatible with... or expect more of this for the rest of the time you spend together... its who he is... and its clear its not what you want. He's not going to change any more than you are.

You are in a relationship. I don't think you need to pretend the lack of sex doesn't bother you.

There are many relationship hurdles, some big and some small. The secret is to TALK about them.

Ask him - don't accuse, ask.

Or, as Smoothy says, maybe it's time to go.