My daughter is an addict and consistently leaves for days and doesn't contact us as to how her 5 year old son is. Does that constitute abandonment so we could gain custody? As it is we raise him full time because of her addiction

It's not abandonment but it is neglect. File for custody on those grounds.

Judy, could it be considered abandonment if the arrangement is for the grandparents to watch the child for a day or two, and she doesn't call or come back for 5 or 6? I would think it would be. Certainly if the child weren't picked up from a neighbor or day care, I think it would be considered abandonment, and the grandparents don't have any legal responsibility for the child, but - I'm not a lawyer.

But for the OP, I do know though that you could report your daughter to DCFS. It may seem severe but often they will award temporary guardianship to the nearest relatives - such as grandparents, which can ultimately result in a long term placement or even adoption. They will give the mother opportunities to straighten our her life and can often make such resources available to her. This might be a way to force your daughter into treatment. She will be furious with you - may hate you over it. You have to be thick skinned to do it. I've known several people who had drug problems though, and while all were really angry when family took serious measures, all were glad when they were clean and sober that family did what they had to prevent the loss of their children. Protecting her secret of drug abuse and child neglect only serves to enable her behaviors, and she's too ill to see it so you can talk to her endlessly about it, make all the threats in the world, but you're not talking to your daughter - you will only be talking to her addiction until she's been clean and sober for quite a while.

God bless you - this is a horrible situation to be in, and thankfully your grandchild has you.

Abandonment or any "wording" is set by the state law.
Abandonment is not the same thing in one state to another.

At this point, regardless of what it is called, you will need a local attorney, since of course it is not likely the mother will just sign over her rights without a court fight

Judy, could it be considered abandonment if the arrangement is for the grandparents to watch the child for a day or two, and she doesn't call or come back for 5 or 6? I would think it would be. Certainly if the child weren't picked up from a neighbor or day care, I think it would be considered abandonment, and the grandparents don't have any legal responsibility for the child, but - I'm not a lawyer.


Legal abandonment is basically (and it varies a little bit from State to State) leaving the child in a bus stop situation - no food, no shelter. The child is safe having been left with Grandparents.

I know it doesn't seem right or fair but that is basically how the law works. I can see that this would be abused from the other side if leaving a child with Grandparents were abandonment. Annoyed in-laws would be pressing abandonment charges all over the place.

There are legal remedies for the Grandmother - as you said, CPS is always a choice.

My concern at this point is that if the Grandparents take action and the parent decides to get even the child will have no one. So I say - keep the child when the mother returns and let the mother take action .