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kjoy82
Dec 10, 2011, 04:59 AM
My sister moved in with me for health reasons. She has RA.
She is narcasitic. I have a horrible time dealing with her.
All my life I have always felt that she hated me. Never had a nice thing to say to me at all.
She is constantly bringing her self worth up, while knocking mine down.
It seems to give her pleasure. In fact... It does give her pleasure!
My sister gets it honestly, my mother was exactly like her... I really felt like she hated me too.
My sister and mom were always trying to out do each other. Me? Never was into it lol.

I have gone online and read many articles on narcassitic siblings and such.
But would like to find someone to talk online with who is going through the very same thing.
Unless you deal with this day in and day out, people do not understand what this is like... Its hell on earth!

Anyone out there?

joypulv
Dec 10, 2011, 05:15 AM
For your own well being she has to move out, plain and simple. Tell her to go on disability and get public housing. Medicare will take care of any help she needs getting around or stuff around the house. If you are in the US.

kjoy82
Dec 10, 2011, 05:46 AM
Thank you for your input! I live in South Carolina.
She has just started getting her disability.
And looking to get a small place in Fla. Thank goodness... I NEED all that mileage between us!
This is great! So I am actually on the right path yea!

Do you have someone like this in your family?

joypulv
Dec 10, 2011, 07:16 AM
No, I'm very lucky. Well, my mother was something, not sure what to call it, usually Holy Terror, but she has been gone now for over 5 years, although I still live under a shadow.

kjoy82
Dec 11, 2011, 04:20 AM
Sorry to hear about your Mom. I lost mine in 1996.
You are so right... that shadow still does hang around!
My sister is a carbon copy of my Mom!
And I react the very same way around her as I did with my Mom
(Staying as far away as possible! Lol)

joypulv
Dec 11, 2011, 05:32 AM
I suppose you endure a little more because of your sister's RA. Who knows how much of her personality is from your mother and how much is medication and pain. Florida to SC sounds just the right distance for the occasional visit.

kjoy82
Dec 11, 2011, 09:25 AM
So True! The funny thing about her moving to Fla... is that she never ever came to see me just for a visit.

I do love my mom and I love my sister... regardless of all that happened in the past or happening now.
I have to make peace within myself in order to survive this.
I did forgive my mom when she was dying. I stayed with her the whole time in the hospital and hospice... and at this time my sister could not be found.
She never knew until she called my step dad 2 weeks after mom died (mom and sis had an argument of some sort and they were not talking at the time).
And during the last 2 weeks of my mothers life, she somehow became the mother of my dreams. It could have been the cancer effecting her brain, who knows... but for the very first time ever, she would hold my hand, tell me that she loved me and spoke of doing things together.
I never had those feelings with her before... and it did something to me, which I cannot really explain except to say that it was peaceful and warm and for the first time I felt love coming from her, and to me...

Now when I was a child I would hide or run (like the wind!) from my mom to be free from her every chance I could get!
And thanks to her, I was the star runner on the track team at my jr. high and high school for 5 years! Lol! (really true!)
But now dealing with my sister is harder (and you are right again) because of her illness.
We both have no one else family wise to ask for help of any kind. Its just the two of us.
I would not ever let anything bad happen to her... with her disability now coming in, she should be fine.
And I did this because I would not have been able to look myself in the mirror if I did not help her.
And when she's leaves (hopefully soon) I will be able to move on and heal faster.


I want to Thank You for answering me :)... its really nice to have someone to talk with.
Having someone to listen and care... this support is what I needed more than anything, it gives me strength to keep going. Its very hard when you have no one to talk to.

It takes a special person to do what you are doing...
And the support that you offer is an answer to prayer :)!
Kimberly