Why are there so many straight women going for lesbians today? What in the world attracts women to other women, when there are so many of us straight men that want very much to meet a good woman for us today? These women must have had a very bad experience with men, and were so violently abused by them as well. But now this is making it very difficult for us good men that do know how to treat women today, and we cannot seem to meet the right one for us now. As a single man that was married twice at one time, I was a very caring and loving husband that never cheated on them. And they both did cheat on me, and I was very committed to them as well. Now that I go out a lot I always meet the very trashy ones, with their no good attitudes. Where are the straight women now, for us straight men today?

I'm a woman and I'm not aware that "so many" straight women are "going for lesbians". It would seem to be that gay or bisexual women are attracted to lesbians.

You were married twice and both wives cheated on you - with men or with women?

And a lot depends on where you are meeting these "trashy ones with their no good attitudes." I have more than a few attractive, successful single friends, none of them "trashy." They go to meetings, belong to clubs, go to shows and plays and musicals, don't hang out in bars.

Maybe you are hanging out where "trashy" women hang out.

If you told me you were married twice and both wives cheated on you (just my thoughts) I'd run other way. You either are a poor judge of women or there's some other problem.

What makes you a "good man"? Tell "us" about yourself.

As far as I know there's no research that women become lesbians because of bad experiences with and/or abuse at the hands of men.

"Straight" women don't fall for anyone but guys. You aren't straight if you have anything but purely heterosexual inclinations.

Now a "Bi" woman might... and a "Lesbian" most certainly would.

I am a straight woman who likes straight guys. Umm, so youw ere married to two women at ONCE? Are you a polgymist?
As a single man that was married twice at one time Did they know about each other?

I am a straight woman who likes straight guys. Umm, so youw ere married to two women at ONCE? Are you a polgymist? Did they know about each other?


- good point. Twice at one time. Hmmm. Maybe that's how the two women met.

Agree the question itself is false and based on a untruth. First straight women don't fall in love with lesbians, and second even if a few did, it is not many by any means.

To judykaytee, you have to understand where I live there are so many women that have a very bad attitude, and do hate men. The women that I was married to at the time, cheated on me with other women. That is why where I live, there are plenty of lesbians today. There is nothing wrong with me because, I never mistreated them in anyway and I was a very caring and loving husband as well. It was not good enough for them, the way I see it. There are so many women now that need the attention from other women instead of men, very sad. Two years ago, my friend's wife left him for another woman. He has two children. They were married for ten years, before this happened to him. It is hard for him to explain that to his children, since they are too young to understand what happened. I do go out a lot myself, hoping that I will be at the right place at the right time to meet another good woman for me again. Being single and alone again is sad for me, especially for the holidays. God must be punishing me for a reason I do not know, especially when I see other married couples that were very lucky to have each other.

As was said, a straight woman is not going to go to a lesbian unless she is actually bisexual or a lesbian herself. Someone does not "turn" into a homosexual.

There are people, both men and women, who do not want to face their sexuality either due to shame, confusion, or fear of repercussion from others, so they hide it. Sooner or later, however, it often is revealed... such is likely the situation of your friend who was married for a long time and yourself. It is understandable, given your own experience and that of your friend, that it appears that many women are going to lesbians, but that is simply your own perspective and not a reality.

Where are you going to meet people? Are you able to go other places? Are there connection groups in your area for singles to get involved in different activities? What about friends or family introducing you to women you may be interested in? What about some of the reputable online dating sites?

The thing that both of your ex wives have in common is YOU.

I suggest going to therapy to help get past the idea that women left you for other women and help determine why they REALLY left you. If nothing else, it will help you to avoid attracting other bisexual women in the future.

... i never mistreated them in anyway and i was a very caring and loving husband as well. it was not good enough for them, the way i see it ... two years ago, my friend's wife left him for another woman. he has two children. they were married for ten years, before this happened to him. it is hard for him to explain that to his children, since they are too young to understand what happened ... i do go out a lot myself, hoping that i will be at the right place at the right time to meet another good woman for me again. being single and alone again is sad for me, especially for the holidays. god must be punishing me for a reason i do not know, especially when i see other married couples that were very lucky to have each other.



Okay, I edited you somewhat. YOU think you were a loving, caring husband. Something else apparently was missing in the relationship or they didn't see you the same way you see yourself. Two out of two were lesbians and you never noticed?

I have a friend who was hit by a school bus. That doesn't lead me to believe that anyone else I know will be hit by a school bus.

And PLEASE don't bring your God into this conversation. The place for that is the religious threads.

And I'll ask my original question again - where do you go when you go out?

As an aside - I lived in the Village in NYC for a period. I was surrounded by lesbians and gays. I was straight. It never was a problem. I still found straight guys to date.

I still want to know about the two at once. You said you were married to two women at one time, this by many standards is considered cheating.

Let me explain something to you women out there, I am a straight man that was married twice. But not at the same time. I was married the first time for twelve years, the second time for seven years. Both of the women cheated on me with other men, not women. Plus my second wife is bipolar, which made it worse for me. So as you can see I have bad luck with women, not my fault at all. I did not do anything wrong to cause this. It seems a lot of men were blessed out there to have met the right women for them and have families, and others like me that were not as lucky as them. Why I do not know. I wanted my second marriage to work out, even though she is bipolar. I tried a lot to work it out, because I loved her very much. Now that I am in my late fifties, it is very hard to meet a good woman for me again as you can see. Once again, I cannot blame myself like I have said before. I had to explain this story to you the right way, sorry for not explaining it the right way the first time. Have a happy and safe holiday.

Your original post was very misleading. Sorry for the confusion.

I have been cheated on, in abusive relationships, dated serial liars and fakes. BUT I don't think all men are bad people. Yes, I will agree it sounds like you have had a rough go with women, and it's unfortunate that you have had these experiences. But not all women are like that! I dated a man who worked on oil rigs and was gone 2 months at a time and he stayed loyal, never once cheated or gave me any reason to doubt him. I dated a guy who worked and lived in the same town as me, and every chance he got, was cheating on me.

I could easily say all men are abusive, cheating, liars. But I know that for every scum bag, there is an equally great guy out there. If you go out there with the attitude that all women are lesbians or cheaters, you aren't going to attract a self confident woman. Any smart woman wouldn't give a guy like that the time of day. They have their lives going for them, and they don't have time for men/people who aren't going to be a positive influence in their lives. I am younger, but single. I haven't (totally--haha) given up on men. Yes I get frustrated and feel like there is no good men left. But I know if I go out there with the attitude that any man I meet isn't worth my time, I am NEVER going to meet the man that IS worth my time.

I kissed a lot of toads in my day. I always figured that eventually a Prince would have to come along - and one did. Two, in fact (I'm a widow, remarried).

I also realized that I wasn't going to meet anyone sitting in my house and waiting for the Prince to knock on my door - you have to get out there.

No God is not punishing you, I agree with the other person who said do not go into bars. Most of the time you can find nice women in Flea markets and beauty salons such as Jc Penny they have salons in malls the rest rooms are close to hair salons. Go to a hair stylist and get a hair cut. Seek and you will find at the right time. I have to say I have seen a change in some women. The song I kissed a girl made girls start looking at others. Many may be just curious, it may be a fade that dies out, give it time and how about going to a small city 40 or 50 miles away. Try meeting a Christian woman on the computer, normally if you look for a good Christian Woman she isn't going to be the type to flip. That is what I hear it is called, the gay women attempt to take a straight girl and flip her.

Try and not rush it, and how about getting on the sight where people who went to school with one another meet. I've had several men I went to school with ask me out now over the computer. Start slow and not rush into anything with the woman, try to learn about her first and then precede slowly this way love lasts. Good luck you will find someone eventually. I did not go to bars because I did not want that kind of man. After years alone { and I was considered one of the top } I eventually did go to a bar, I met a man who drank and I do not smoke nor drink, but atlas he stopped drinking and has not drank for 4 years now. We are very happy. Best of luck

Are you saying that a song has turned women gay? How about women finally feeling no restrictions from relgious groups and other closed minded people? People do not turn gay, people do not choose to be gay, people are born gay, and it SHOULD be as acceptable as one being born with blue eyes or brown hair. Being gay is not a fad, and will not die out.

If you really want to meet a great PERSON, it's time to change your out dated thinking and open your mind to the different types of people that make this world go 'round.

No song, movie, TV show has ever made anyone "turn" gay.

What does you "were considered one of the top" mean?

To be honest what I have found is that women go for what is accepted by others, and these days heterosexuality is very much discouraged. And as everyone needs company, that's why girls or women go for other females

There are so many lesbians and bi women today. I have to agree with the last person on that one. Many women out there now are just attracted to their own sex, instead of us men. Why is that? I myself as a straight man, would like to meet a good straight woman for me now. The problem is, most of the women are no good pigs. I can see how they act, and many of them are a real low life today. They must have been very severely abused by the men in the past, and now many of them hate men. There is nothing wrong for a straight man like me that would like very much to meet the right one for me, like I have said before. Can you blame me, since I am alone and single now. It is very hard to start a conversation with them because, they are very nasty and walk away. Even the ones that are straight have a very bad attitude as well. So how do you expect us men to meet good straight women if they act like this now. I have done nothing wrong on my part to cause this to happen to me, that is for sure. Where are the decent women today? Do they exist? It now appears, all the good ones have been taken.

I refuse to believe that men can't find a straight woman unless there is something HE is doing to put them off.

Guess what? Women can sense when you think they're all "no good pigs" and steer clear of you. We can also sense desperation and lack of self confidence. What you project to the world directly influences who you attract into your sphere of being.

PS--an open mind might help some of you guys a lot. I'm bi, and have been married (and monogamous) for 16 years. Just because I'm ATTRACTED to both sexes doesn't mean I NEED both to be happy.

The bottom line is that YOU are the common denominator in all those women you're complaining about. What does that say about YOU?

Thank you johnd880,the problem is one of jealousy also, most people know if they're honest the best relationship is between a man and a woman, a man and man is good if platonic also, or a woman and a woman if platonic. But with a man and woman the relationship is especially powerful and constructive if there is compatibility and understanding.and other people are envious or jealous of these possible good and strong relationships so they want to spoil it for you, by preventing you getting it even started

I'm a guy... and I'll say Synnen has this pegged perfectly. I've had the benefit of being around the right women, and having the right attitude that they spoke very frankly around me during my formative years. A few of them were Bi, I also actually listened to what they had to say.. not just sat there quietly when they talked.

And yes... the good ones are the ones that can spot the guys with the attitudes and steer a wide berth around them. Then there are the others... like some guys that can't they seem to always end up with the wrong types.. and are never happy in their relationship or life.

Just by learning how to listen to people, you can learn easily to judge people fairly accurately within moments. And get it right most of the time.

First impressions, are lasting impressions. And body language says more than words.

there are so many lesbians and bi women today. i have to agree with the last person on that one. many women out there now are just attracted to their own sex, instead of us men. why is that? i myself as a straight man, would like to meet a good straight woman for me now. the problem is, most of the women are no good pigs. i can see how they act, and many of them are a real low life today. they must have been very severely abused by the men in the past, and now many of them hate men. there is nothing wrong for a straight man like me that would like very much to meet the right one for me, like i have said before. can you blame me, since i am alone and single now. it is very hard to start a conversation with them because, they are very nasty and walk away. even the ones that are straight have a very bad attitude as well. so how do you expect us men to meet good straight women if they act like this now. i have done nothing wrong on my part to cause this to happen to me, that is for sure. where are the decent women today? do they exist? it now appears, all the good ones have been taken.

Oh wow, I totally know what you mean! I feel the same way.. about most men! Like why do they have to be so piggish! They want sexual partners, and when we give it up, we become the Wh0re! Imagine that! I feel like men are like parking spots... all the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicaped (or just judgemental @sses)

thankyou johnd880,the problem is one of jealousy also, most people know if they're honest the best relationship is between a man and a woman, a man and man is good if platonic also, or a woman and a woman if platonic. but with a man and woman the relationship is especially powerful and constructive if there is compatability and understanding.and other people are envious or jealous of these possible good and strong relationships so they want to spoil it for you, by preventing you getting it even started


I can't even figure out what this says. "most people know if they're honest the best relationship is between a man and a woman ... but with a man and woman the relationship is especially powerful and constructive, blah, blah, blah."

"other people are envious or jealous of these possible good and strong relationships so they want to spoil it for you, by preventing you getting it even started"

What? So women get involved in lesbian relationships so that their partner, another woman (of course) won't get into a good and strong relationship? What?

I agree with Synnen - when one man can't meet one "good woman" because ALL women are this that or the other thing the common denominator is the man.

Maybe it's easier to fault ALL women than take a closer look at yourself.

I am astonished at the amount of people who really think women are evil and out to destroy man-kind!

Women had it bad, I can say this was how it was for us women in the late 70's and 80's. YOU really would have seen evil in the years before Judgement orders. I was in a couple bad relationships. The first was a Police Officer. Now he was a good guy and all that UNTIL I discovered he had watched his father beat his mother all his life. This gave him the only way to try and control. I had to ask if I could go to the store and I was not allowed to wear make-up. Can any of you imagine that? Then when I tried to leave he would grab the baby by the legs until I let go. When he beat me if I called the police they would look at me and would say Sorry Miss this is Domestic. I was shocked I ask them "you actually are telling me he can beat me"? They said "well if we see him we will stop him" but there is nothing we can do other than that. I wasn't running around on him or doing anything. It was shocking to learn this was how some women had to live. When I ran away he would hunt me down like a dog Make me come back. Actually holding me captive, I see why some women might try being with a woman. This is not my life style, but for those who went through what I did, there is just only so much you know about a person until you are living with them or married then the monster comes out. Later years the man was fired from the Police department but this was in the late 90's when fired. Imagine a person with a badge and they are the LAW and can do what they want, all the men they work with are their friends. It can be a night mare. It has been to many women who married a Policeman. Now things have changed women have more rights, but men as well as women both can be evil, some people hide who they are, those types are very good at how they come into a good woman's life. There is no way you can know everything about a man especially if they are young. It is sad to see how terrible people can be to one another. I eventually found a really good man, I did not give up. I kept on looking and eventually I found a good man. Do not rush, you as well can find the man or woman you seek, it takes time. Just watch and wait until the right one comes along. Remember the old saying you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your Prince. It was so in my case. Good luck.

To breeda, believe me there are plenty of women who treat other woman like this also in lesbian relatiomships if they are living together as a couple.You do get woman who abuse and bully other woman this way, so this is not a viable excuse for a woman to go with other woman or women and deprive any man of a chance to get to know and possibly see her

To aurora bell, It isn't that all woman are wicked and out to destroy man-kind, or it doesn't start that way.I have found that in this world women tend to be led or go along with the men, and follow their example or leadership, especially if the men or man seems to be in some type of socially accepted situation or generally popular with others, but this does not make them or him right. As I know women do perceive.And in the seventees a lot of woman used to befriend gay men, and society didn't quite understand or were a little confused by this and even people used to refer to their associations or friendships as cool not realising that when people are gay they usually want to influence and guide others into their type of relationships also. And I have even been told by many a gay man in the past, that I should not bother trying to find a girl or woman but should find myself a 'nice young' man instead.

This is the problem other peoples influences about partner choices that people feel they should go along with.

You do get woman who abuse and bully other woman this way, so this is not a viable excuse for a woman to go with other woman or women and deprive any man of a chance to get to know and possibly see her

Women, like men, are fully capable of making their own choices about relationships and what attracts them whether the person is male or female. They do need an excuse that is 'viable' or not to anyone other than themselves to date, marry, live with another consenting adult.

Women are not objects placed on Earth for the enjoyment of men. When a woman chooses to be with a another woman it does not 'deprive' a man of getting to know her and possibly see her any more than becoming a nun would or being completely celibate and not even dating. The mindset that women who are not in a committed relationship are obligated to make themselves available to be examined like a doll on a shelf by any male who wants to think about getting to know/see them is why many women become distant and cold toward males in general.

I, personally, do not think there are more lesbians or bi-sexuals (or homosexuals, for that matter) than any other time in history. I think people are just more open about their choices and what attracts them. More people are also open about being curious.

Yes, there are some people who have been hurt and are running away from the memories and pain. Women do not have a monopoly on that behavior. Men do it too.

hetrosinger
My answer was about my personal life. What Laws were before orders of Protection. I do not know your age or what your experience of life has been or your degree if any is in. Did you read what I added at the end my answer? Both women and men, you can only tell a certain amount about {anyone} at the start. There are different levels of innocence. Yes, believe me some women are still virgins, as well as some men. Society pushes thoughts as well scene's in the young peoples minds. It goes much more deeper than what many believe. I was a virgin who waited for marriage. I met a young man who was not a drinker nor did he do drugs, always addressing others" Yes Sir" and addressing his peers, with much respect. My answer was I saw listened and there was no way I could know or see a deep family secret of his father a " State Trooper" , and the man I married a "Policeman". This family's secret life, and what a secret it was.
How can anyone know everything about another, no you can not, I dated this man over a year. I had no idea there was a problem. I myself had always attended Church. I played by the " Rules" of life and yes I was innocent I had no idea men beat women. I had no idea how they could and many did become. Everyone who reads this " just google how most pregnant women die ". It was a shocker to me. A man is the stronger, more strength and a small woman Like me, I have heard what others say, I'm a woman and have listened over the years. I imagine it is more out people out of the closet because it is accepted. I live in a small town but in the Small Towns of the South things are no way as they are in the other areas, things still are frowned upon. Not until the late 90's was the Police Man I married fired for his treatment to the public and believe me it was in the papers. I kept a copy. I understand other women can bully one another, sex makes little difference. At the end of what I said to the person who first asked the question : wait, do not rush, someone will come along, do not give up. There are still good people out there. I do not think a bar is the best place to seek your life time mate if that is what you are after. Laws NOW Protect BOTH women and men, in the past the Law did not. One they Life time Channel Jan. 21 or 27 of this month they will have a true story on about this very issue. Abuse from A policeman who beat killed many women and many abused control. It can go both ways, both parties can abuse. People in authority do, Presidents do, Teachers do, many in Congress do, most young people who grew up Protected have no insight into evil. Why because we are told it is out in our World, but it is difficult to see until it comes our way.
People of both sex's become obsessive. Like I had stated, do not rush there is someone out there for you. Look else where besides a bar. Take your time and get to know the person as well as you can. Watch for the red flags. But do not give up. The person you seek shall come, do not settle for less than what you seek. Make sure your expectations are on track. As Smoothy stated first impressions are lasting. Listen to the little voice in your mind, which warns us of danger. Women kill just like men, but not as much or as often, it is more men who are violent. Statistics prove this.
If you watch programs and begin to study you can learn much about this discussion. It would do anyone interested great good to do this exact thing. Take your time, you will find the woman for you or who you seek. I eventually did, there are still good ones out there. I did not allow what other people did to me make my heart hardened. I would not judge the person who came next from what the person before did. I had learned in the Bible judge not least ye be Judged. So I always kept an open mind. Good Luck and allow no one to make you feel that there are no good ones left. There are, maybe much harder to find, not as many great ones in bars. Check out the Book stores, Library's go to Social functions where you see the people who do things beside spend their free time inside a bar room. Good Luck to all, Best wishes to all

Please - this is not a thread about religion. Your Bible may very well not be my belief. This is an international site.

I have no idea how your post addresses the question - there have ALWAYS been protective orders. This is nothing new. People have ALWAYS abused their power.

What does this have to do with women becoming lesbians?

For your information, even the straight women are very nasty and have a very bad attitude today. I did nothing wrong on my part. I can't help it, since these type of women are just garbage now. I am just a straight man that does not like to be alone, and would like very much to meet the right woman for me. Can you blame me, to want what is normal today? To you it may not be, but to me it makes sense. But then again you are bi, and you just don't get it. By the way, I have a right to be very bitter, since I do meet the nastiest women today. This is the reason why so many men like us cannot meet decent women today. Just think, if there were not so many lesbians and bi women, men like us would have our own woman and not complain. With all of the lesbians out there now, they are the filthiest pigs on earth.

Dude... you really need some counseling. I'm a guy, I see LOTS of women, and even though I am married I'm not blind. I have a pretty high standard, and I am still NOT seeing the sorts of things you are seeing. Perhaps have you taken an objective look at WHERE you are trying to meet women? There are certain venues that are going to NOT attract the best caliber of female... Bars and Nightclubs being two.

If I was the type to fool around, it would be damned easy. And I am just an average guy. I don't have a six-pack... and You'll never see me modeling clothes. Or Reading GQ much less appearing in it.

Ever hear that saying, "You attract the people you are most like". You have a horrible chip on your shoulder. As a confident, straight woman, I would NEVER in a million years even want to have a conversation with a person like you if we met on the street. Your post screams insecure, and personally, I don't have the time nor the patience to want to deal with men like you. So maybe that's why you are having such a hard time attracting a nice woman. Just sayin'...

for your information, even the straight women are very nasty and have a very bad attitude today. i did nothing wrong on my part. i can't help it, since these type of women are just garbage now. i am just a straight man that does not like to be alone, and would like very much to meet the right woman for me. can you blame me, to want what is normal today? to you it may not be, but to me it makes sense. but then again you are bi, and you just don't get it. by the way, i have a right to be very bitter, since i do meet the nastiest women today. this is the reason why so many men like us cannot meet decent women today. just think, if there were not so many lesbians and bi women, men like us would have our own woman and not complain. with all of the lesbians out there now, they are the filthiest pigs on earth.

Wow... I have to say that if you're making comments like this, then I'm pretty sure I can see what the problem is for you meeting women. To refer to women as garbage in this post... you get what you give and I bet you aren't as awesome as you think you are. Maybe changing your attitude a little will get you further.


Oh yeah... and I just have to add... I still can't stop laughing about that ridiculous comment earlier in this thread about the song "I Kissed A Girl" turning women into lesbians... funny stuff.

if there were not so many lesbians and bi women, men like us would have our own woman and not complain.

I have to strongly disagree with this statement.

I have read too many questions by people who have their own partners to know that people who are insecure in themselves will find something to complain about in their current or past partners. They will also transfer those negative feelings onto people they meet and put the burden on future mates.

Take responsibility for your own part in past relationships. Accept where you might have made mistakes which might have seemed minor to you but weren't to your partner. Look at the warning signs you ignored. Look at how you approach others and what your expectations are. Make certain you are being realistic. Don't approach a person with the attitude of being owed anything. You aren't owed a chance to get to know anyone. No one has a guaranteed right to find a partner.

You can affect your chances of meeting the right person for you by getting involved in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Meet people who have the same interests you do. Get to know them as friends. Treat them as something more than a gold star you deserve for being straight. Make certain you aren't projecting your past issues onto the people you are wanting to get to know better. Don't look past the person who would be a suitable mate for you just to reconfirm your negative views by attempting to pick up the person with warning signs blaring and flashing around them.

"Our OWN women?" I'm married. I'm not HIS woman. I'm a person married to him.

His car, his dog, his woman?

And, yes, I commented on the music turning women into lesbians some time ago - I still enjoy that particular post. Good stuff!

by the way, i have a right to be very bitter, since i do meet the nastiest women today. this is the reason why so many men like us cannot meet decent women today. just think, if there were not so many lesbians and bi women, men like us would have our own woman and not complain. with all of the lesbians out there now, they are the filthiest pigs on earth.


Reminds me of my dating days - I would meet someone, we would sit down for dinner or a drink and he would go off on how his "ex" was the biggest b**** on feet - and on and on and on. Said a lot more about him than it did about her, and I would excuse myself and end the evening early. I was his date, not his therapist.

This kind of continuing bitterness - for whatever reason - poisons a "relationship" (or a date) from the very beginning.

For whatever reason bitter, bitter people think they have a "right" to be bitter and also have a passionate need to explain to the rest of "us" why they are so bitter - whether we want to hear it or care or not.

And to the OP - I'm NOT the woman who betrayed you, left you, "took up" with another man OR woman, did whatever she did to you - but you'll never know that because I decided within 15 minutes of meeting you that I'd heard all I needed to know about you. Between your bitterness, neediness and low self esteem - good-bye.

The OP has never returned, thread is going off tract to I hate women from some strange posters, Closed