Hi everyone, my name is J.P. I desperately need some help.

In June 2010 I met a girl over the internet. She lived 30 miles away from me. After chatting together for weeks, we fell in love. On the 2nd of July 2010, we met in her home town. I remember getting off the train, and she was stood right down the other end of the platform, and ran towards me at full speed. At first sight of her with my own eye, I felt a large thump right in the center of my chest. There was some butterflies in my stomach. I threw my bags down, and she dove into my arms for the first time. We walked and go the bus stop. I hold and her hands and I asked her if she wants to get together ( I was so nervous and asked myself, " is this the right time to ask her?") And she said "YES" and she giggled. It was so cute. She was very shy. We went to her place and introduced me to her parents. I left my things there and me and my ex girlfriend went to the beach with her dogs. We really had a great time. After that, we took a nap in her bed. I kissed her but she didn't kissed me back. I asked why, and said" is there a problem? Do you really love me?" She answered "Yes, I am just shy" She blushed and giggled. I tried it again after couple of minutes. I said to her " Wow, you're so beautiful and you have pretty eyes. I love you and love being with you." I kissed her and finally she kissed me back. She's really a shy type girl. She also told me that she didn't kissed her other ex back the first time they met. It took 6 months to kiss her ex back. (I think I did a great job with her). We talked on the phone every night. I was always calling her every day & night. And before she sleep at night. "Hi, babe. Just want to say goodnight and I love you " I did that. We were hanging out together often. We had/have so many good memories together

On the 2nd of August 2010, I took her out, we went to the cinema, on a tour and went to dinner ( It was our 1st month anniversary). After that I brought her home.
* Past forward *

She broke up with me 'cause she said I lied to her and yes I admit it. I just made a new account on msn messenger, then I added and was pretending to be someone else. I just wanted to be sure if she really loves me, I was just so curious. And asked something about her other ex if she slept with her other ex boyfriend. And when we're sleeping at my place, she said I touched her. I also said sorry for all of this. I said, I just missed you, we haven't seen each for so long. I really didn't meant to do that and didn't do that in that way, you know. I asked her why didn't she wanted to do that stuff. She said, because she was disapointed that I lied to her. After that day, she broke up with me on the phone. Because I was always wants to be with her, lied to her and so on.

I WANT HER BACK. WHAT SHOULD I DO? :(

It's been well over a year since the last time we spoke. It's been over 1 ½ since the last time we were in each other's company. 1½ + years was how long we had together! Those days with her seemed to last forever, but in a good way. It's been a very long two years without her in my life. I've dated since, but nobody has compared to her, and that can be seen in the length of time those other relationships. The longest relationship I've had with a woman since my first lasted only 3 months. I'm terrified that I will never have a long term relationship again. I think I'm a good guy, but since her, I haven't been able to make a relationship work.

I desperately want to meet somebody new. I have no desire to get back with my first love, but I just want my feelings to go away. I can't even look at a picture of her without lying in bed pining for her. After all this time, surely I should be stronger than that?

I've asked hundreds of questions on other websites regarding this subject, and I'm really starting to think I need therapy or something. Please, please tell me how to stop dwelling on losing my love? What can I do to help myself?
PLEASE HELP ME. I Don't KNOW WHAT TO DO :(

JP Viana,

Avoid posting same questions twice. Rather than post scripting, you can EDIT the previous ORIGINAL POST. No problem!

I welcome you to this beautiful site, first!

About your query, my advice is COMMUNICATE. It can bridge the hearts, can heal the hearts and fill the gaps. Try.

Good luck!

I had a similar situation with an ex. It's been nearly 2 years since we were together and we were together for a year. I've been in a couple relationships since him. I'm engaged, pregnant, and looking at marriage now... and I still lay awake thinking about that one guy that got away. I see his pictures on Facebook and want to cry because I missed out on such an amazing person.

I wish I had a fix.

Personally, I just try to live each day one moment at a time and try to envision the good things that I can make happen if I choose to work towards them.

Keep on trying to win her back again,if she really loves you she will accept everything what you have done, you know trust is the most important foundation of the relationship, it is more important than love,
Don't ever give up even she told you so,, keep loving her,, wit all your heart, you'll see, everything is going to be fine,

Every time a relationship fails we re-feel old feelings and that's miserable. Maybe throwing in some blame from lying in the first one makes it worse, but seeking success to cover failure makes it worse every time.

Stay out of relationships and just date as friends for at least 6 months, before you become committed or exclusive, and have many female friends to have fun dates with.

I feel that just as with your first ex, you jump in head first, hard and fast, and expect it to last forever, and it hurts when it doesn't.

By giving yourself more time to know who you give your heart to, you will not only enjoy it more, but won't be so obsessed with making it permanent so fast.

Too much, to fast, crash, and burn.

This also leads to high hopes and unreasonable expectations, and much fear, and insecurity. Don't look for romance, or to replace past romance, or hope for a long term relationship, those are not solid goals.

Build a life that makes you happy, with friends, family, and activities that you enjoy, and you will find someone who wants to share it with you.

Be thoughtful, rather than impulsive, and things work a lot better.